


Training Ground Zero

by bluegrass



Category: Naruto, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Uzumaki Naruto, Because Kakashi duh, Crack Treated Semi-Seriously, Friendship, Gen, I think I know what I'm doing, Midoriya will appear too, Reincarnation, Self-Indulgent, Some angst, Team Bonding, Uchiha Sasuke has never met anyone with more anger than him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2020-08-13 18:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20178523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluegrass/pseuds/bluegrass
Summary: Emotionally blackmailed into ANBU guard duty over Naruto, Kakashi was highly convinced that the boy washellspawn.





	1. In which he's probably a demon in disguise

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why I found this idea as appealing as I did. Wrote it anyway (✿´‿`).
> 
> Leave a Kudos and comment if you liked it anyway.

As of late, Kakashi’s worst fears didn’t manifest in his dreams or in the quiet moments of his daily visitations to the memorial stone. Rather, it came in the form of emotionally blackmailed guard duty to his late teacher’s infant son who was a near literal demon to babysit. So much that if his faith in Minato-sensei’s seals weren’t sky high, he would’ve thought that the demon fox must’ve slipped through somehow.

Kakashi could even put it in 10 words or less.  _ Uzumaki Naruto was nothing like his parents. _

See? 7 words. Now, wasn’t that a lucky number. 

The… the  _ hellspawn  _ \- mere baby, only months in age at this point, was terrifying in his anger. And for what, Kakashi wasn’t at all curious to find out. He’d rather stay comfortable in the seat of dealing with the already fitful Naruto because anything more sounded like it took too much effort and emotional energy. 

Furthermore, if he hadn’t known better, Kakashi would’ve suspected the ugly, ugly tantrums to have stemmed from the fact that the baby understood that he was a baby. Naruto had a set of lungs on him. Ones that could last for hours and hours and hours, uncaring of the time of day. He wasn’t even doing a proper wail. It was pure unadulterated screams of rage.

The pieces weren’t ones that Kakashi could click into place; because perhaps the screaming alone he could deal with, but the pure silence that followed for days felt far more creepier than his cute kouhai’s emotionless eyes.

Childcare may not have been the apprenticeship the silver-haired ninja had taken - not so much as everything murder under the sky anyway - but the thing was, even Kakashi knew that self awareness couldn’t possibly occur so early. Brain development would still be incomplete, the cranium soft enough he could crush it easily under one hand.

What was it? And just where was the logic? Ninjas defied realities and Fate herself all the time but not even prodigies like him knew that Kakashi was called Kakashi until he turned 4 months old. Naruto was 2 and a half. 

Kakashi wanted to stab someone when he witnessed Naruto’s first fully opened eyes too. They were an achingly familiar blue at first, and the tingling compulsion was aimed at himself (Useless, powerless, heartless Kakashi. Couldn’t save  _ anyone- _ ). Then they flashed fucking red and Kakashi wanted to slash a Kunai over his  _ and  _ the Third Hokage’s throat for making him see things he could not unsee.


	2. In which he’s probably a child prodigy

Kakashi had bought a childcare manual titled - rather arrogantly in his opinion - ‘Becoming the Best Parent: The Complete Manual to Child Development and Care’. It was bold of it to imply that Kakashi could or would become anywhere near the perfect parent by mere book alone. Although that wasn’t the reason he bought it in the first place. 

The bookstore he frequented regularly for his favourite literature gave him weird looks so Kakashi had to explain briefly without breaking any contracts promising silence. No porn this time, a miracle, I know. “It’s a reference,” He stated mildly._ So that I know that_ _I’m not going crazy._

He didn’t think the book keeper got the hidden message. That was alright though, Kakashi wouldn’t want to understand himself either. He was a bundle of bad decisions and worse ones that he never seemed to learn from. 

It was the trauma and child soldier duties, honest. 

Kakashi had around 4 hours before his next shift to take care of the pup. He might as well get through the development chapters first. The actual ‘how to raise’ part could die a poetic death in an Uchiha fire for all he cared. Shinigami-sama knew they couldn’t raise children properly to save their pride. 

_ IS YOUR CHILD GROWING NORMALLY? _

_ These milestones are a great way to measure the growth of your child! From their little smiles to the point where their cognitive development allows for the introduction of must-have toys to help improve their motor skills and problem solving skills. Take note of these months to measure how your child is doing. It is highly recommended to seek an authorised professional if any abnormalities are -  _

Kakashi grimaced. This was going to take a while.

Minato-sensei’s spawn was about 4 months now, if he recalled right. Time was honestly blending into colourless spurs and Kakashi could not truly appreciate the terrifying development Natuto had made until he’d finally finished about one fourth of the development section after multiple accounts of complaints by his neighbours next door.

Jeez, can’t a man throw practice his kunai throwing skills to distract himself at 4 o’clock in the morning? Jounin these days honestly had nothing on the past when even Chunin (war-promoted; so basically children, but that wasn’t the point) dared to take literal pissing contests on the roof. 

Moving on, at Naruto’s current age, the book had stated that the kid should be smiling a lot. He wasn’t. Though that could be due to the utterly terrified caretakers at the orphanage that Kakashi threatened once he caught wind of their low-handed neglect of the child. 

Alright, alright. What about communication and speech then? He flipped to the next page, one eye carefully reading the listed bullet points from the three he’d taken to perching on stealthily outside the boy’s room. 

So, expect nonsensical babbling, oohs and aah, squeals, babbles, imitations of another’s expression. Oh, so that’s what they meant by frequent smiles - assuming the parent smiled around the child. Hmm… so Naruto was in the early stages of cognitive learning. 

Wisely, Kakashi was going to ignore how the child was attempting to stand even though he should only be able to flip from his back to his belly  _ and  _ he was also going to turn an unironic blind eye on how Naruto’s first word was a very clear and eloquently put “Fuck.” while trying to perform the aforementioned stand.

Kakashi took a while to process what he’d been reading and what he was seeing. Naruto toppled over, tiny hands losing their grip on the crib. No toys surrounded him as the Hokage hadn’t the time to drop by for a visit after the destruction left by the Kyuubi.

Boredom was starting to look like excellent motivation to get a baby up and about. Kakashi had one handedly solved the mystery to mass producing soldiers for a war at a young age: just leave them. They’ll figure it out eventually for a lack of better things to do. Like growing.

Sighing, Kakashi straightened himself against the rough bark of the tree. 

This job sucked. 

Breathe in, breathe out. The scent of his pack would soothe the mild panic skipping ninja wire in his chest. 

In conclusion, the boy was an abnormality. 

(Much more than Kakashi who became Genin at 5 years of age.)

Shit, Naruto was a child prodigy despite having no war brimming over the horizon - _a_ _sign_, some paranoid part of him whispered hysterically. Adjusting his Inu mask, Kakshi snapped the pastel blue book shut. Minato-sensei shared something in common with his son, afterall. 

And maa… was that… Chakra?

The text said 10 months before Chakra Coil formation. 10 months!  _ No, Naruto! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a Kudos and comment if you liked it?
> 
> (I know I'm not funny okay, but I tried. I tried. (´＿｀。) *sniff*)  
(Blame my - really shitty - sense of humour.)  
(No I wasn't trying to actually be funny in this chap.)  
(I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE HUMOUR WHY DID I EVEN START THIS)


	3. In which he’s hopefully loyal

12 months had passed and the child had mastered running into a relatively acceptable art form. At one year and two months old, of course Kakashi had better things to do in his life than worrying. 

Or so he proclaimed to himself. Like, y’know, a textbook ninja. Thus, a liar.

The silver haired ANBU had changed his slots for half a morning, late noons, and whole evenings once Naruto showcased the weird trait of needing less sleep than the average baby. In which was also months before whatever bipedal mastery everyone in the orphanage bemoaned over.

As of late, his job felt more of a twisted hobby than the initial drag-through-the-gut reminder of his failures. Kakashi carried a pen around all the time, making it a side mission to cross out everything in the child development handbook that Naruto wasn’t following. 

It was fun, for the most part. Whole chapters were getting shamed in red by the week. The ninja also liked adding small notes of his own next to the crossed off bullet points; tiny scrawls that said stuff like:

_ ‘First smile, 5 months old.’ _ It was actually a very evil, very hateful smirk. To be fair, the orphanage matron deserved whatever came her way.

_ ‘Chakra control: Genin, 10 months old.’ _ At that, even the Hokage paled and voiced his doubts at Minato-sensei’s seals for a minute too. Served him right, Kakashi thought, secretly vindictive. God of Shinobi or no,  _ Sarutobi Hiruzen  _ hadn’t been the one to hear the not-so-quiet whispers of kicking Naruto out early. 

_ ‘Spoon holding mastery, 5 days.’ _ The pictures he snapped secretly were hilarious. Kakashi’s knowledge that children developed from the feet up made it ten times more ridiculous at Naruto’s increasingly demonic scowl.

… Obito would honestly cry if he saw Kakashi now. Or have laughed his ass off. Most likely the latter.

Surprisingly, it didn’t take half as long as Kakashi had expected for the orphanage to  _ introduce  _ Naruto to the outside world. Perhaps the infamous bouts of tantrums contributed to such, but Kakashi could read the glimmer in every caretaker’s eyes. They wanted him out and away as much as possible and just as soon. The ninja wouldn’t put it past him before Naruto was officially tossed out. The boy would be safe for now, however, if only by the thin skin of his age. 

Naruto loved to explore the lands outside of closed doors. He always left early and stretched his curfew for as long as he could, devastatingly tinier than anyone else. Kakashi constantly worked overtime due to the constant worry that plagued his veins because the villagers had no lost love for their late Hokake’s son. The lack of A Ranked missions displayed their after effects when Kakashi’s in-village jitters demoted his unfortunate ass from ANBU Commander to everyday stalker. Paid, but whatever. 

Naruto, on the other hand, took it eerily well. He learned which paths weren’t safe, creeping about the back alleys and managing to land himself tiled roofs that no kid should have had their feet on for at least another few more years. Naruto had nearly slipped a few times for his body wasn’t at all prepared to be climbing anything. No muscles nor common sense stuck in his yellow little head. The building wasn’t an unreasonably tall one, which comforted Kakashi more than he’d ever admit. 

The borderline maniacal grin etched on Naruto’s face deserved a another picture in the collection when he finally made it up. 

The kid was perceptive, or looked to be, when he wouldn’t move from that particular roof he’d climb only to sit down and watch the world around him. 

A contemplative expression crossed his face as the child observed time pass by like an outsider exempt from Konohagure’s hard-won embrace. Kakashi barely refrained from Body Flickering by his side and asking: _ don’t you think she’s beautiful? _

The sight of bustling civilians running their daily lives, selling foreign wares, fresh produce, and occasional cattle. The sound of gossip from idle housewives, even more so from Shinobi of every rank - Genin, Chunin, Jounin, the hidden ANBU, who could also stick on surfaces like lizards and make elemental weapons of flame and wind and water out of thin air.

Take in how Konoha breathes through her people, her buildings, her towering trees. The Hokage monuments that have watched over them since the creation of the only Home Kakashi had ever known through thick and thin. 

Minato-sensei loved this Village Hidden in the Leaves despite the tears, sweat and blood it’s sucked up from the roots. Almost wistfully, Kakashi hoped his son would too. By the uncharacteristically gentle sigh that left Naruto’s mouth, the boy might already be learning.

The very next week (only 4 days since), Naruto picked up his first kunai. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half the fun of this fic is making up the chapter titles tbh.
> 
> Leave a comment and Kudos if you liked this!


	4. In which he's becoming a training freak

He gave thanks to Kami-sama that it was only on the fourth day Naruto picked up one (1) pointy thing to make a stabby-stabby motion, albeit incorrectly.  _ I’ll teach -  _ he’ll learn. _ _

On the first day, the boy started with stretches first, then laps. Weird understanding of the importance of building up a solid foundation via muscles, but okay, Kakashi could get behind that. He followed the dandelion head who ran around the village twice. By then, Naruto had keeled over on the sandy dirt at the pitiful number of laps by any Shinobi standards; Kakashi thought it was nonetheless an inhumanely good attempt for a one year old. 

Cool fingers of wind brushed through the village, soothing the heat that came from the sun’s mindless glance. Such pleasant weather and Naruto was downright snarling on the flat of his stomach, teeth baring and whisker marks stretching. What, was he not happy with his stamina? Calm down, child. 

Kakashi snapped back a traitorous yawn that started appearing more frequently these days. He was mildly impressed when Naruto still got back up through trembling limbs. A growl left the blond, as did a silent howl filled with rage. Kakashi had cast a Genjutsu so that the public would see a rather strange ninken who, in a very determined streak, started another lap around the village once more.

Miraculously, Naruto made for four rounds the next day. There was no rest, no indication of sore muscles and the like. Kakashi nearly summoned Pakkun simply because he wanted to complain about the unfairness of it all. Was it the fox? The Uzumaki genetics? 

How much Chakra did the boy have anyway? Considering Kakashi had seen neither head nor hide ever since that one time. His cute kouhai would later report that Chakra control training was reserved for after 20 hundred hours, sir. 

On his third round, Naruto soon chanced upon Gai in the middle of an insane routine of Kami-sama knows how many hours of handstand running as a warmup. Kakashi looked damningly closely at the boy who took in the sight and the bowl-cut ninja not even an inch aware of the illusioned pup - who was going at the speed of a turtle in comparison - when an odd glint sparkled in sky blue eyes. 

_ Begone, green beast! Begone! _

Kakashi wasn’t above low-handed manipulation and took note to refer his childhood friend elsewhere for the foreseeable future. Didn’t want the hellspawn getting any ideas, afterall. His body was still far too fragile for any intense kind of training remotely exclusive to Might Gai. 

Evenly numbered sets of push-ups came next, then sit ups, lunges… Wow, who knew that young bones could bend like that. Naruto looked plenty pleased as well, grinning all satisfied like a freshly graduated Genin as sweat soaked through his black tee. 

When Naruto arrived to the point of finding a stray kunai carelessly tossed by some irresponsible fool in the park, dread pooled in Kakashi’s gut. In all honesty, he didn’t even know why things like these still surprised him. So what if he took the weapon by the handle and eyed it critically? And if Naruto purposefully set temporary camp at a training ground nearby, learning how to use the thing with rapt attention, Kakashi was  _ not  _ surprised. 

The Hokage asked if Kakashi was absolutely, absolutely sure that the seal did not leak even a tiny bit. The silver-haired ninja scoffed inwardly, pretending to gaze airily at the space between the Hokage’s eyes while standing at attention. An open secret among the ranks understood how the Inu mask gave him some leeway. 

“Easily explained, Hokage-sama.” He said, conjuring the most serious face humanly possible since his installation as ANBU Captain. It had been out of necessity because during so, Kakashi had a relatively invisible panic attack thinking - well, feeling -  _ fuck, they’re mine to look after now.  _

“Uzumaki Naruto is a prodigy.” 

The Hokage raised a thin silver brow. 

Dismissed, Kakashi Body Flickered the fuck out of the tower in record time. The excuse would get old pretty quick and he had only a few more months to come up with a better explanation. Not many questioned Itachi’s genius for he belonged to the Uchiha. Naruto however, was a Jinchūriki and that made all the difference.

While he’d been away, Naruto reportedly ran nine (_nine!_) rounds on his own before collapsing. A feat even academy leveled clan kids had some difficulty with. Bullseye with a kunai was more or less sixty-forty now and the pup had somehow found a discarded pile of shuriken behind a blueberry bush while scavenging.

Neko better not be fucking with him. He didn’t care if there were regular breaks over those several hours. This wasn’t ROOT and Naruto wasn’t even two yet. You get me that  _ My Child Wants to be a Ninja: What do I do? _ Book for the civilians on the furthermost right side of the store’s back shelf, Tenzou, or Kami-sama help me  _ - _

So Kakashi still had some by-the-book reliance leftover from childhood. It was extremely justified, in his opinion. Only 13 days of training and Naruto wanted to scare the Hatake wolf spirit out of him already. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The running theme for this work, henceforth, will be: it sounded way better in my head I swear.
> 
> Basically all 10+ of my WIPs. 
> 
> Leave a Kudos and comment if you enjoyed it! :)


	5. In which he's scarily good at Bakuton

Shinobi liked to gossip. It wasn’t a secret, not really; shrouded in secrecy as their jobs normally were, many found solace from the commonly followed trauma by jabbering about what they could whenever, wherever. As if talk alone could keep the demons away because who in the Country of Fire didn’t know that it was in the silence that the whispers hissed the loudest? 

ANBU in particular loved gossip. They really did. Those in T&I too, ironically enough. He knew from experience that their gossip content and conspiracy theories were the most interesting in all of Konoha. 

In comparison, Kakashi kept to himself most of the time. From a young age, his status as a natural genius gave him a lot of beef to work with -  _ truly remarkable, they said in one of those shady bars that offered beers tasting like piss for 10 ryo.  _ Genin at 5 and Chunin at blah blah blah. _ _

__

Kakashi’s sperm donor had been rather infamous as well, leaving his son to be pulled between both scorn and admiration in exchange for his life. A  _ bloody  _ inheritance, if you will. On top of that, the attention that delivered itself at his doorstep by being a student of Minato-sensei and Kushina-san alone wasn’t something to scoff at either. 

__

Needless to say, rather than gossiping alongside someone, he was often the subject of it and Kakashi didn’t like the coddles or attention as much as his pack.

__

Fortunately, word of him eventually died down when his sensei did the same, albeit earlier. No pun intended (he was a terrible student. Obito will never forgive him). Kakashi contributed to the silence by slinking into ANBU like a shadow scorched by the sun. He didn’t exist if nobody saw him and his self-imposed banishment from a decent quality of mental health went just about splendidly as one would expect.

__

Until he started to look after the pup.

__

People were talking again. They side-eyed him at the bars when Kakashi buried his face in a menu he’d already memorized years ago. Speaking in hushed voices, “When did Sharingan Kakashi breed?” Said a wide eyed man, slurping on his cold soba. “I heard someone say that it was a missing-nin from Suna.” His companion returned, a thick, crooked scar on his neck indicating that he was a literal living miracle. 

__

“What?!” The first man gasped. For some reason, Kakashi had a vague impression they belonged to another squad in ANBU. The hair was familiar… Was it Uma? Zou? Wait till he got his hands on the lot. 

__

It wasn’t the mystery partner that came from Suna, but the book. The recent item he’d taken to carrying around for unsaid purposes was published in Suna and imported over to Konoha. 

__

Arguably, Kakashi’s next set of actions might’ve been slightly impulsive and overall unwise. He blamed it on the date, nevertheless, it was close to the day Obito had passed away so excuse him if his mental faculties weren’t at peak level.

__

For the next few days, Sharinga Kakashi, long lasting genius with a Bingo Book entry at the age of 13, in a lasting moment of passive-aggressive pettiness unbefitting of his age or rank, Genjutsu-ed his book into the cover of well-known porn birthed by the blood, sweat and tears of the Toad Sage himself.

__

That would give them something to talk about.

__

The regret slammed into him like an adult Akimichi who’d just discovered the wonders of their Clan Jutsu. 

__

He was a pervert now, apparently. 

__

_For shame, for shame, _more gossipers giggled in drunken stupor. The Hatake ancestors were rolling in their graves; lightning struck and their tombstones cracked; downpours of rain had soaked generations of ashes into cake batter consistency, becoming easy fertiliser for the weeds in the neglected compound to absorb. 

__

At least Naruto didn’t know him personally, Kakashi sighed in partial relief. 

__

A few weeks had passed since the silver-haired ninja found out how prone Konoha’s bushes were in keeping dangerous weapons behind them. 

__

The boy was making his rounds as usual, a light trail of dust sweeping behind him as he jogged lightly after running 30 constant laps around the village and working out some. Kakashi learned that although path appears random, it was actually rather purposeful if one had as much time as him to look into it. 

__

Naruto explored the ground of various training grounds with a critical eye, gaze lingering longer on the Forest of Death than several weeks ago. Kakashi huffed in exasperation immediately, frustration forgotten when Naruto it made to the district where most Shinobi lived. By then, his pace quickened, shooting through shadowed routes and blind corners. Every careful, soundless step had Kakashi’s senses screaming to detain the blond. 

__

**SCOUT SPY SPY SPY - PACK - SPY SPY **

__

Emotion and instinct clashing, Kakashi steeled himself by raising walls of iron from the formidable creature known as emotions. Naruto wasn’t a spy. Kakashi had gone through this more than once, pulling enough over-time allnighters watching over him that the Hokage damned near grounded him like some civilian child. 

__

No, Naruto cannot be a spy. He’d make a terrible one anyway. What spy made themselves look at least 2 years older than the actual age of their target when attempting for undercover? None. The blond was a genius, Hatake. A genius. Nothing more, nothing less.

__

Down to an art form, he decidedly ignored the evil known as Naruto visiting the less savoury areas of Konoha to make merry with the pleasure women by helping them - the typical stuff, y’know. Like tending wounds caused by violent customers, serving meals from the kitchen, offering physical and moral support by expertly blowing up bad guys - 

__

Wait, expertly blowing up bad guys?

__

Fuck, did Minato-sensei say anything about coming from Iwagakure? 

__

Wasn’t it a Kekkei Genkai too?

__

May the twice damned fox maul him alive, how was he going to explain this to the Hokage: “Sir, Naruto’s proficiency in Iwa’s specialised corps of the Explosion Release is mine to take blame. I panicked when a black cat crossed my path so I blew up the path and Naruto saw me. He begged I offer guidance on the technique and because he is my Sensei’s dead son I saw no reason to refuse, nor could I even if I wanted to.”

__

In fact, that was exactly what he told the old leader. In his head, of course. He’d actually be sent to T&I for a full head scan in and out if he said it out loud. Thus, Naruto was made known of his presence by the small post it note on his single bed that advised him to never, ever, reveal his (hidden) Kekkei Genkai until he was a proper Shinobi. 

__

_ Good job, Kakashi. Good boy.  _

__

__

__

The man soon treated himself to another disguised childcare book. One that taught parents the why and how of educating their child in differentiating between good and bad secrets. Naruto was a smart one, he’d understand the importance of keeping hush. 

__

__

__

Kakashi had even taken in consideration of the fact that because gossiping wouldn’t be an effective or practical coping mechanism - as quiet and isolated as he was - the silver-haired ninja politely left a scroll filled with Chakra control exercises under Naruto’s blankets. 

__

__

__

They were both child geniuses. Kakashi could empathise, understanding that the word ‘No’ or ‘Stop’ meant nothing in the long term. Treating each other like an equal  _ should  _ do the trick. If he was going to do something dangerous in the end, Naruto might as well be aware of the dangers and equip himself with as much safety precautions first to minimise any fatalities. 

__

__

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Yeah. My brain does things.
> 
> Leave a Kudos and comment if you liked this!
> 
> ** Ninjutsu(s) will be regarded with their English translation, but ninja is put as Shinobi because I think it sounds better. The title is stated as 'Bakuton' because I was trying to be funny (BAKUgou and BAKUton, get it? Yeah, toss me in the trash like the garbage I am).
> 
> Let me know if you think I should change it though. If so, why. I'm rather lazy enough as it is. so the reasoning might boost my motivation to do something about it. What can I say, I'm a closet people-pleaser (Okay I'll stop now I'm sorry). Let me know if they're any inconsistencies too. I'll really appreciate it if you can make this work an enjoyable experience for me and you!


	6. In which he’s sorely against unconsented monitoring

Paranoia was not a good look on Naruto. When he’d found the note before going to bed, Kakashi had been outside his window - as creepy as that sounded - after stealing a shift from his cute kouhai in a predetermined game of rock-paper-scissors. 

How? By strategically putting up pictures of rocks all over his living quarters and purposefully making sure that all kinds of rocks were what Neko would see in random intervals for over a week. Using clones, Kakashi made damn sure that a rock was the first thing Neko saw when he woke and the last thing he thought of when he slept. 

Rumour has it that the man was dreaming of rocks after the duration Kakashi’s side-mission.

And that he had a strange hatred for them now; seeing as the object never left his mind like a particularly annoying, catchy, repetitive song. Tenzou’s temperament was nearly saint-like until someone asked him to Transform into a rock. Showcasing unexplainable cat-like tendency of curling himself in a self-made wooden box for over an hour. 

The Hokage did nothing about it. Neko was still functional on missions, so all was assumedly good. He simply wrote it off as a newfound quirk that every Jonin obtained eventually. 

Anyway, Kakashi found infinite amusement seeing the boy’s stance tighten instantly. Barely catching the click of Naruto’s tongue, the silver-haired Shinobi tilted his head. Teeth shouldn’t be making those kind of noises. Wasn’t the pup afraid of grinding them down until they were two-thirds the length they originally were?

The visage was sort of scary, if he were being honest. Not in a conventional way, moreover. Kakashi had experienced and seen many horrible things in his lifetime. From the nature of men and women and Mother Earth alike. He’s witnessed torture, rape, trauma, unfulfilled potential of a long candle snuffed out too soon. 

And if the individual wasn’t one he held close to his heart, he’d consider murder as the kindest of the lot. Particularly the instant, painless deaths. At the very least, they won’t live to see too much. Better to be dead than the last one alive. 

The difference between this and that was the utter morbidity of Naruto’s circumstance.

Because the expression on Naruto’s young - terribly young - face was honest apathy. Closed off, stone cold, whatever you called it. 

(Oh.)

The boy was clearly forcing himself to keep calm and analyse the situation, assess all threats to his person. 

Every second of the harsh glint in his sharp zircon eyes scanning systematically over his room was something Naruto had no business in learning, much less acting on. Plus, the utter silence of suppressed words. Nothing could express the sheer discrepancy between the boy that was screaming his lungs away at some Yakuza lackie for beating up a service boy in the alleyway he happened to pass by and the one now. 

From the perspective of a skilled Shinobi, sound meant weakness. Remain unseen, unheard. That was how people survived during the war. Naruto, for whatever reason, knew this. 

(You made him feel unsafe in his own home. Friend-killer. Killer.)

Kakashi wanted to _ kill _the quiet dead. 

The pup containing an entire stack of explosive tags in him may’ve been a prodigy, but he’d blown up every stereotype of the category.

More Kushina-san than Minato-sensei, their son did not brood or gloat or play the mysteriously silent card. No, Naruto was like the sun, but in a _ burn everyone to death _ kind of way. It depended. 

He was loud, slightly impulsive, and with a strong sense of justice. Kakashi had scorched himself by staying too close, whereupon the sorrowful flowers at the pleasure houses thrived. No men nor women left untouched. 

Kakashi hated to be suspicious of Pack. 

Obito’s Sharingan throbbed. 

His gloved hand went to touch the cold kunai in the pouch strapped on his thigh. 

Then Kakashi left a Shadow Clone for the night, returning to his apartment with heavy steps that literally cracked some few unfortunate roof tiles. _ Have I made a mistake? _ He asked himself, water as cold as snow running down from head to shoulder to toe. 

Just before leaving the bathroom, the silver-haired Shinobi barely caught a silver of his reflection of the uncracked mirror above the basin on the wall. How curious. He looked a lot like Minato-sensei when the man first got him. 

Despite not getting a wink of sleep, he resisted the urge of calling in sick. Kakashi slipped the handbook by his bed into the pocket of his Jonin vest and checked in ANBU Headquarters for a new day. Inu mask a comfortable weight, he took three deep breaths in and out, anxiety churning in his gut. 

Naruto seemed to have calmed down overnight. Like he’d come to peace by himself. Had he assessed him to be of little threat considering he’d been nothing but helpful? 

Speeding away to Training Ground 44, the Forbidden Forest, the blond boy opened the scroll containing the Chakra exercises and started practicing. He seemed to be aware of Kakashi’s presence now, not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Because when evening fell upon the Fire Country, Naruto tacked a note on one of the trees using a senbon he found somewhere. 

The note said, in a surprising display of coherent handwriting: _ Oy, fucking shitstick. Get me a library card, those motherfuckers won’t let me in. And tell the old geezer I wanna go to fucking school. _

“Maa… If Hokage-sama says it’s alright I suppose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever just. 
> 
> Wanna sleep.
> 
> I remember being in primary school and classes started at 7.20 am. I was fine then. Fast forward many years and I low-key would watch the world burn just because of 8 am classes. Though to be fair, the thing is gonna last for 3 hours and no one deserves that. This lowly pheasant doesn't have the mental capacity or capability to focus for that long. 
> 
> Leave a Kudos and comment if you enjoyed it~


	7. In which he's really into Shinobi school

The Hokage did not say it was alright.

In fact, he pushed against the statement so vehemently, Kakashi could see his own anticipation disperse like the smoke wafting from Hiruzen’s favourite pipe. 

“I’m no fool, Inu,” he huffed wearily. “I took you off out-village missions for a reason. Do you even understand what you’re doing?”

No, Kakashi did not understand. He admitted so and got an unpleasant upward glance of pity. 

“You can’t just give whatever Naruto-kun asks for. I know what you’ve been doing, Inu. You also cannot switch out someone else’s schedule with yours by your liking. Naruto-kun was supposed to be period of closure for you. But at this rate, I’m positive you’ll end up throwing your health just by keeping an eye on the boy.”

His first thought at the Hokage’s words had been: What do you mean I can’t give Naruto what he wants?

The second: That spot on the roster was fairly won.

The third: No I won’t.

The fourth: He made a pun. 

Kakashi could’ve said all his thoughts out loud, sounding like a petulant child. Or he could seal his lips instead and nod along like agreed. The higher his favorability with the other, the more likely he’d have his request Naruto’s request fulfilled. Minato-sensei’s pup deserved it.

And that was the exact problem the Hokage pointed out. But for the life of him, Kakashi failed to cajole his guilt and pack-oriented instinct back inside it’s sorry cave. He needed to provide. He needed to get what Naruto wanted (for the first time!) else he was useless.

_ I need I need I need _ \- What _ do _ you need? Between desire and necessity, the mending of both cloths may require different threads. You can’t have everything and you know that. So bite back your greed, keep the growl deep inside your belly where it may never surface. 

_ He needed _ \- 

“Umask, Inu,” said Hiruzen with tired eyes.

Kakashi did.

The man must’ve seen something in him because he ultimately relented. Opening the large window of the tower, the Hokage exhaled a breath of white outside. “I’ll allow Naruto to attend the academy.” 

He could predict the ‘but’ coming all the way back from the mission he’d participated in Iwa three years ago.

“But, he will not graduate early. He will stay back until the required age alongside his peers born of the same year. He may take an apprenticeship on the side if the Academy’s material becomes too easy, but he may not be an official Genin until he turns 11. As for you, Kakashi, I ask that you take off a few days from your workload from tomorrow onwards. Report to me in 5 days, eight hundred hours, I have a mission for you and the estimated duration is up to a week.”

The Hokage did not ask, he stated. And Kakashi bowed at the waist, thanked him, and left with a heart beating twice as quick. An eye for an eye. It would appear as though Kakashi must not leave his apartment for a few days. At least until the Hokage’s temper cooled. 

The mission went well, all things considered. It was fairly easy. A simple B-Rank, one of espionage and sabotage.

Kakashi thought about many things during that time.

(On the way back, he had coincidentally gazed into the startled eyes of one of Konoha’s lesser known rogue Shinobi. What was this one’s choice when he decided to defect? Hey, won’t you share what had been on your mind?

With one practiced flick of a kunai, the man died within half a breath. _ By the rules of the village, traitors were given no words to defend themselves.) _

By the following week, Kakashi watched as Naruto hauled ass to the Academy at the break of dawn, yawning throughout the hour. Scouting out the scene, clearly. Civilians weren’t normally allowed inside for fear of their safety. 

Konoha’s Shinobi Academy was like fresh water to the dried, shrivelled demon-dandelion called Naruto. The boy was a natural loner that stood out even among over 40 of his classmates, but Kakashi wasn’t surprised, per se, to learn that Naruto made an excellent student. 

However biased, the senseis could essentially find no fault in Naruto’s behaviour in class. He was always punctual, always cooperative in class matters, and always had the right answer to questions at hand. His grades never fell below the top 3 either - in both paper academics and Shinobi practicals. 

Furthermore, although the boy may often times come off incredibly rude and condescending, he was normally quite cooperative all in all. It was like he knew the boundaries of what could and couldn’t implicate him in the long run and the child abused the hell out of the knowledge.

Many were baffled, save for one. Because based off Kakashi’s personal observations, the fact that Naruto had requested attendance to the academy in the first place said plenty about his character. 

Last Kakashi heard through the local grapevine, Naruto was also unfamiliar with the concept of losing. The resident Uchiha and Hyuuga kids simultaneously hated and loved him. It was a complicated relationship. Ever on the side that ate dirt, they started demanding for matches so often Naruto sat both down and forced them to make a schedule. 

Mondays and Fridays belonged to the Uchiha; the Hyūga had Tuesdays and Thursdays. Wednesdays were rest days. As for the weekends, Naruto made extra sure to tell them to fuck off and die whenever he was greeted by their bitch-ugly mugs. 

The blond was anything but amused when they showed up at the orphanage in all their stuck-up glory. Both went back home twice as beat up than usual. The look on their faces weren’t a little bit upset though. 

Cats that caught their bristling canary. 

Kakashi sighed when he saw the trademark smirk, Gai flashing at the forefront of his mind. Secretly, he wiped a running tear. Naruto was making friends! 

An impolite spit-take left him when he heard some of the Clans’ relatives in ANBU mention that the boys had been arguing to be teamed up with the blond after graduation. The unintentional charisma was… nostalgic. 

Too bad the wish shall remain unfulfilled. Hokage’s orders.

On a personal note, the muddled waters of insecurity built on self-loathing had Kakashi taking one hell of a swim in. 

At this point of time, half of him barely remembered what the problem was.

Naruto was a mystery despite being less than 5 years old. And because he was used to it Kakashi would refrain on commenting how Naruto mysteriously looked 5 years older, but the point being, the pup knew so many things he shouldn’t. Yet he also knew far too little. 

Naruto was smart and young. Too smart to be blind to the risks and hurt that eventually came with loving Konoha and finding a place in under Her precious shade; too young - aided by two-thirds of the victims on that night’s tragedy, it wasn’t implausible to consider the possibility that Naruto was impressionable enough to hate the village. 

And because he was undoubtedly going to be very strong in the future, Kakashi panicked. 

People feared the unknown. Those they deemed a senbon towards their bubble. Kakashi knew this. 

There was a saying that the people you hated resembled you the most.

Blowing large bubbles underwater, Kakashi exited the blasted lake like a monk who’d reached enlightenment. 

_ Shit _ , it didn’t matter. Naruto was _ alive _ and he could be or do whatever he wanted as long as Konoha was safe. 

If the pup knew too much, Kakashi was more than able to advise him on an acceptable path through post-it notes, or by getting someone to do that for him (he wasn’t perfect, Pakkun. No need to be so mean). 

If Naruto knew too little, then the same methods could be used to teach the boy what he lacked. Freakish his behaviour may be, the boy was still young and malleable. He was the son of two of the best people he’d ever known. He will not grow up a threat to Konoha. 

Therefore, no conflicting interests; no insecurities. None, nadda.

There, problem solved.

Their lives were too dangerous for trivial things to slow such a humongous firecracker of potential down. Kakashi’s fucks left to give was exactly the remaining amount of living precious people he had left he had left. About… three: Naruto, Gai, his ANBU team - yes, they counted as a single entity - and although little, it was enough to bring himself to make things right this time. No good came from giving the number of fucks in proportion to his remaining number of kicking relatives, or lack thereof. 

Banish the indifference. No more demons shall live in his silence. 

He had a vague inkling of what he needed now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my opinion, this chapter felt kind of choppy. I still liked how it turned out though. Kind of? I'm not too sure. I'm currently very, very sleepy so excuse my poor judgement. Tell me if you gaiz liked it though. :)
> 
> Kaka's not entirely okay, but he's _trying_. Also, Bakuto was a Good Boy during his time in UA and you can't convince me otherwise.
> 
> Leave a Kudos and comment if you enjoyed this! Thanks~


	8. In which he's getting a new place

They kicked him out. The utter gall of the scum. They actually kicked Naruto out of their twice-damned orphanage Kakashi has had the utter _ pleasure _of knowing for the past 4 years. Leaving him with nothing but the clothes on his back and a bag that wasn’t even half the size of Naruto’s body. 

Just how dare these monsters - to Naruto - Minato-sensei’s _ son _ \- his _ sacrifice _ \- their _ Hero _-

Kakashi saw red.

What the actual fuck was the Hokage doing?! 

Standing on the edge of a dilapidated building containing neither light nor a proper heater on the edge of Konoha, Kakashi had watched as Naruto let out a low growl of frustration, a touch of confusion pinching his already grouchy expression further together. 

“The fuck?” Naruto said, uncharacteristically feebly. Then the boy had strode towards the red-light district on a chilly summer’s night without looking back, only to be caught by that Uchiha kid Naruto hung out with often. 

Uchiha Haruka. The dark haired pup who near obsessed (loved, they loved so strongly) over Naruto the way only an Uchiha could.

Underneath the gently gazing moonlight, a small fight broke out. Staggering back and forth messily in clumsy punches and deafening screams because for the sun, descending from the skies had formed an enormous crater in a bottomless lake.

Naruto hated help as a first option, as the only option. His pride would never allow it. 

(He forgets he is still but a child in a world far away from Home; a place in a different universe where children are forced to take orders in tears and bloodshed. Where not even a decade has passed since their last Great War. No Heroes exist here. They cannot make it far.)

Kakashi couldn’t understand a single word in while wrapped helplessly in an encompassing haze of anger, blood pressure rising through the roof. His teeth had itched when he saw the Uchiha take Naruto by the wrist, leading him to the clan’s familiar compound.

_ Calm down, Hatake._

The silver-haired Shinobi grunted and flickered inside the orphanage’s matron’s room where she had the soul to sleep peacefully. He pictured shoving his hand into her chest when his mind gave him ideas - bloody ones, each flashing image caught in the intent to feel twice as painful than the last. 

Rip out her spine, tear out her throat. Pull out her teeth nails. Make her blind, deaf, mute and dumb slowly. Even if Naruto wasn’t sensei’s son, he was still a child belonging to Konoha. 

The woman choked on his fingers wrapped around a weathered neck. 

_ What are you doing? _

Kakashi was gone before she could see the stretch of his enraged shadow looming over her shuddering figure who’d come close to a second brush with death. Alone in a room planked with dark wooden floors as old as Konoha’s founder, the woman born early enough to see the great Sannin run carefreely through the streets wept. And from her tongue, the name of the old lady’s dead pregnant daughter sang softly like a sorrowful prayer.

The Hokage opened his gates to the slouching figure masked in darkness. “Kakashi-kun?” The man said, sounding alert and awake even in the dead of night. 

“Naruto was kicked out of the orphanage 30 minutes ago, sir,” Kakashi reported stoically, tight jaw betraying his sloven posture. “Requesting for funds and an emergency apartment for my target’s immediate relocation. Currently, classmate Uchiha Haruka has taken Naruto to the Uchiha compound. I have confidence that they will not stir too much trouble in spite of… current affairs.”

Hiruzen would’ve thrown his hat if he was in his office. “They kicked him out?” he asked, an open show of guilt clouding his eyes. 

“Positive.” 

“Thank you, Kakashi-kun. I’ll take it from here. Go back home and rest. You look like you need it.” The Hokage turned around after saying this, soon looking over his shoulder one last time in concerned warning. The younger Shinobi nodded, though both knew returning was certainly the last thing on the young Hatake’s agenda. 

Indifferent to the time of day, the Uchiha compound was noticeably serene. Not even a wisp of wind to tousle the leaves of their trees. Aligned neatly were numerous traditionally designed houses that formed a path Kakashi did not take. He leapt on the roof tiles instead, Inu mask breaking the wind that would’ve kissed his cheeks.

The Uchiha boy lived in the civilian district and it wasn’t too much of a challenge to enter unnoticed. 

Each slab of the walls that make up the Uchiha’s territory were decorated with a single uchiwa fan. Kakashi could feel his eye throb the further he ventured in, seeing dark-haired ghosts where there were none. Finally, he arrived at the house just in time to hear the sliding door snap shut. 

Releasing a shuddering breath, he spied on them as Uchiha Haruka said something indisnerable while serving dinner on pastel coloured plates. 

(Kami, this was his life now.)

In fact, even the cutlery was in pastel. The boy himself wore a pale yellow hoodie while having lent Naruto an apricot orange shirt. Amazing. Naruto actually snatched himself a _ soft, mothering _Uchiha. Kakashi damn near cried.

Living up to his recent hobby as a stalking creep, he remained vigilant until the boys tucked themselves into more pastel coloured stuff. In a few hours, Naruto was spread starfish - baby blue blanket long crumpled at the side - by the time the silver-haired Shinobi could bring himself to retreat back home. 

But one footstep later, he paused in his tracks. The Uchiha had woken up, sitting up to resemble a folded bubblegum pink caterpillar. Kakashi jerked backwards, curiosity urging him to stay. Somebody punch him till next Friday, it was nearly 4 in the morning. And he hasn’t had dinner yet.

Turned out, Uchiha Haruka spent 20 minutes staring blankly at Naruto. One tomoe spinning lazily, probably ingraining the image of the blond sleeping with drool trailing down his chin into memory.

What in the Sage?_ Creepy._

(You don’t say.)

The next day, Kakashi paid quiet condolences when news reached Naruto’s other playmate, Hyūga Fuyuko. The girl rose hell and sunk high heaven when she found out of the blond’s latest status as homeless. Her younger cousin in which she’d brought with her, Neji, looked comically appalled at the long and heated rant.

“Calm your tits, woman,” Naruto grunted, eating from a sage green bento box with mint chopsticks. Frowning, Kakashi wondered where Haruka was purchasing his wares. 

“Calm down? Are you telling _ me _ to _ calm down? _Naruto, you ungrateful bitch,” Fuyuko snapped sharply, tone venomous.

“HAH?!”

“Fifty ryō whore,” Haruka snipped in, attention unwavering from the kunai he was sharpening. 

“MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER. WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY TO ME, SHITSTAIN?!”

“Whatever,” the Hyūga brushed him off, making Kakashi wince in sympathy. “What’re you gonna do now?”

“I’mma talk to the old man. He’ll give me an apartment I bet. Never liked that shithole anyway.”

Naruto was right. Formalities went through so easily that it had the Chunin in charge of living estate squinting suspiciously. Alongside an allowance, the Hokage easily gave Naruto an apartment at a relatively ‘tame’ part of Konoha.

The area was unpopular with civilians because it was so close to the red-light district despite its cheap prices. Normal folk seemed to dislike how one’s neighbour on their right and left had at least an 80% chance of belonging among the unsavoury sort. 

The Hokage’s intentions was for some quiet place where his guilt personified could live peacefully.

Kakashi glanced over Naruto’s day-worth research results and discovered that the conditions inside the apartment was also pretty much crap. Hot water was a gamble, electricity box regularly tripping four times a month. Plus, the landlord died from a coronary disease 2 weeks ago.

And _ surprise, surprise. _ Naruto lived alone like he’d been doing so his entire life. 

The boy who maintained a constant Transformation Jutsu to look like he was 8 magically came with an Ultimate Life Skills Pack, knowing how to cook and clean for himself. Even managing household finances were a seeming breeze, never having to ask for more money once. 

He lived perfectly fine with the bare necessities, spending more time training outside. Impressive, Kakashi mentally exclaimed, sneaking inside for the first time. His apartment had more life than this. One living room, kitchen, bathroom, laundry room and bedroom. Each equipped to the minimum - the bedroom had only a bed, bookshelf, wardrobe, and study desk; the living room, a couch and shelf built to have many drawers; in the kitchen, two of everything.

No personal touches. No added colour save what the apartment came in. Nothing that said this place was _ home _. 

It was a major problem because Shinobi needed a safe place. Home, to put it shortly. Missions could be gruelling at best and traumatising at semi-worst. Kakashi couldn’t be sure what worst was, but anyway, having no den meant having no mental security. Living like this, making it over thirty would be a pipe dream.

He swiped a finger on the spotless window still, seeing dust absent from the pad of his finger. Resting his head on the glass, the 18 year old looked up and exhaled like the wind may carry his sullen sighs away.

An idea struck him.

Kakashi: “... !”

Leaving a note and (a lot of) cash for the Uchiha and Hyūga to find, the man fled the crime scene like his Ninken were hot on his heels. Now on the planner was 6 hours set aside specifically to go furniture shopping. In the Academy, one person clinging on each arm, Naruto glared at a deceptively random tree like he wanted to blow it into pieces of charcoal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be kind to my OCs, I got rather attached despite making them on the spot. Only to be punched in the face by my muse as she screamed: "PLOT! PLOT!" So yes, they will be relevant for future developments, but don't worry about them snatching any spotlight of canon characters.They won't even be appearing for more than half the time.
> 
> I promise Team 7 will be the same. I just needed to... socialize Bakuto a bit before sending him out. Plot devices, plot devices. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy. Leave a Kudos and comment if you did. Take care, for those in countries suffering haze right now. Recovering smoothly enough (not really), I'd barely avoided the more severe aftereffects myself. Sore throats are a particular pain in the butt when one is prone to throat infections.


	9. In which he’s steadily learning about life

Another day, another mission. Another night in the year. Kakashi had recently returned from his latest out-village mission which lasted nearly a fortnight, reporting in right before dusk cracked its amber shell to reveal dark glittering gemstones. 

He was embarrassingly exhausted down to the last strand of hair. At this rate, he swore his head was becoming a shade lighter. Stress white, instead of its Hatake trademark silver. 

The frequency of such gruelling missions had increased over the course of the past year. And due to his persistent involvement, the Hokage was already half a name in on Kakashi’s shit list. 

His mindset simply wasn't open to the logic because in absolutely _ nobody’s _Shinobi Rule Book did it state that one shouldn’t or couldn’t go up and beyond in carrying out one’s mission. So what if he was slightly more emotionally invested? As if he wasn’t getting paid to take great care.

Besides, people forget; distance makes the heart grow fonder. 

Shortly put, Kakashi wasn’t appreciative of the fact that he was missing out on _ important milestones _in his wrathful pup’s life. Those books he’d bought may be utter bullshit if Naruto was the target of comparison, but he genuinely enjoyed recording the little things. 

Like Naruto’s first fallen tooth, for example. In which dropped about two years early and grew back overnight but all in all, pretty interesting. Unfortunately, Kakashi managed to keep only one canine out of 32 teeth in the boy’s jaw.

Then there was his first non-human kill. Compulsory desensitization by the Academy’s summer mental competency assessment. Strangely enough, Naruto had threw the largest fit for that one. The blond was balefully resistant to slitting the neck of his rabbit who although adorable in a pitiful kind of way, shouldn't be too much of a problem considering his tendency towards violence. Kakashi sat intrigued for the entire afternoon. The rabbit was just a rabbit, what was the problem?

Haruka had wrapped his faded tangerine camisole around Naruto’s shoulder and said sternly, “Orders are orders and we are Shinobi. It’s not our choice to decide if it lives or dies.” And at Naruto intense expression, his own softened, “But at least know that its death will not be a meaningless one. Kill, Naruto, because when your blade nears an enemy’s neck, I want you to be the first one to come back.”

Hyūga Fuyuko pointed a brief nod towards Haruka in secret while Naruto trembled as the brown-furred rabbit bled out. She had purposefully waited until everyone in their cell of three was done before killing her own. Later, she wordlessly skinned, gutted and cooked their kills as told to earlier on. 

Everyone else in the batch was divided into different training groups, thus different spread around training grounds. None save the trio and Kakashi were privy to what she had to say.

“My father had brought me to Kiri once.” Her pale lavender eyes looked straight at Naruto’s own bright blue. “He’s dead now, but you remind me of him. Kind, cranky all the time, reluctant to have blood on your hands.” She quirked a rare smile, forefinger drawing an imaginary line across her bandaged forehead. “Good people, maybe foolishly so.”

Naruto’s eyes closed slowly and his cheeks tensed. Unbeknownst to anyone, they flashed crimson underneath their lids.

“Only the most powerful get to decide the rules. And though I personally do not endorse your kindness so much, we haven't even graduated yet. Who’s to say about the future?”

Training Ground 23 was deathly silent. Like the world held its breath for Naruto to respond. “I know,” he finally said, the eerie quiet of the forest dispersing with a messenger’s hawks cry. “I fucking know already.”

The trio ate that night's dinner around the new table at Naruto’s place. Fuyuko soaked the newly purchased dishes as Haruka stirred the curry cooked in the canary yellow ceramic pot he’d carefully selected after twenty minutes of deciding.

On a new tree branch he asked Tenzou to grow, Kakashi ate his Tuna Onigiri. 

And Naruto? The boy ran additional laps. Sprinting breathlessly all the way.

Snapping back to the present, “Where did I go wrong, Pakkun?” Kakashi bemoaned on the plush dark green couch stained by many a splatter of some unknown liquid. 

Contrary to what Genma liked to say, the makeshift bed was actually scrubbed clean each time someone bled on it. Kakashi buried his nose into the cushion near his face, several seconds away from chomping down and pulling like a rabid animal.

The Ninken gave a gruff huff, sounding between a growl and an attempt at spitting out a large hairball. “Try again, Boss,” said the pug, lifting up a squishy, well-manicured paw. 

The Shinobi gave him the stink-eye, a crease forming between his brows. Mufflingly saying, “... Where did the Academy go wrong?”

“Not what I meant, but go on.”

Kakashi sat up, hair sticking up in multiple directions. Light crept through the window still, nourishing the potted plant by the kitchen counter. He needed to water that one soon. 

“The latest attempt at solidifying and improving inter-clan relationships within Konoha is a disaster in the making. The Hatake Clan should’ve voted out. But I spaced out - why did I do that? - so the proposition fell through. The Hyūga and Uchiha are going to be madder than usual.”

Pakkun dropped to his belly ungracefully, tucking his paws underneath like a well-fed cat. “Sage knows they need this,” he yawned lazily on his dog bed. 

“Not gonna be enough,” Kakashi muffled further.

“I won’t say that. The pups have been good for you, Boss.”

Unanswering, Kakashi put pressure on his right cheek to glance at the summons. Mah, he was too tired to think about the newly established program whereupon the Jinchuriki had to play house on alternate months at the selected clan’s place. The other heads might’ve thought it was hilarious; Fugaku wasn’t laughing, neither was Hiashi. Not that either enacted the action following a conceived amusing situation in the first place. 

Goodness, just because Naruto got along with one pup per pack, didn’t mean everything slid easy and dandy. He understood why Hiruzen might’ve agreed to the ridiculous friendship punishment t-shirt tactic_ . _ But the Civilian Council as well? Something just smelled fishy about this. 

Taking advantage of his cold, Shikaku hacked a cough knowing the Academy sensei who proposed the thing in the first place. The Chunin answered regularly to Danzo.

Few feet apart, Inoichi sweetly faked concerned inqueires of his health whereupon Choza kicked him underneath the table; the Hatake head snorted back an escaping snore.

Kakashi tiredly recapped, the dastardly troubling cycle of information simply incapable of leaving his mind. _ Last time, Hatake. Never again. _

The Uchiha disdained the Hyūga for their rank on the eye dojutsu list. They detested the jinchuriki for the creature sealed in him, the nine-tailed fox who caused so many deaths - including the one on their reputation afterwards. 

The Hyūga, on the other hand, disdained the Uchiha for the same aforementioned reason; and the jinchuriki for one less than the Uchiha - physical deaths only. Though speculation entailed something more on the lines of ‘Your genius is said to be better than mine, I disagree with your opinion and hate it too.’

Then there was the jinchuriki who kicked both clans in the gut (again), punched them in the face (also again), and rammed the back of his kunai into their funny spots (only ever applied literally to certain masochistic individuals on Saturdays and Sundays) for good measure because he befriended an Uchiha _ and _Hyūga! 

Easing the tension hinted to be possible. Assuming things went well, the civilians might follow suit and come to acknowledge Naruto as an actual person instead of the demon child. Who also grew too quick, by the way, further cementing their beliefs.

What a morbid love triangle. Kakashi fell asleep.

“Look past your misgivings and faults unfounded. He is blameless and only I am to blame. This boy is supposed to be Konoha’s Hero.” Hiruzen had measure set in place in case it didn’t go well, but the man who’d been through three too many wars hoped. Oh, how he hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little Theater:  
_During dinner_
> 
> Bakuto: I'm gonna become the number one Shinobi.  
Haruru, pouring a bowl of Miso soup: ... sure.  
Fuyufuyu, chugging tea like beer: ... sure.
> 
> I'm extremely happy that y'all seem to like my OCs so much. I've had plenty of comments telling me not to kill Haruru off.


	10. In which he’s due an outfit change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haply birthday, Naruto!

It was with no exaggeration to say that Konoha was disgustingly warm all year round. Their climate was nothing like Sunagakure’s dry heat that could fry an egg if the sun was positioned just right, or like neighbouring Takigakure’s low temperatures, pleasantly accompanied by constant light drizzles that kept their tree barks moist and cool. 

Konoha was the mother for hot and humid. And Kakashi ought to be used to the weather by now but he still welcomed the period of reprieve that graced the village in the second half of the year. Monsoon crept around the corner and the skies were more often crowded than not, sporting clouds heavy with the grey of October that seemed to drain the fever away from the months prior. 

Finally had Naruto decided to exchange his black training singlets for something possessing longer sleeves. Although not because of the cold, in which Kakashi harboured suspicions of the pup being terrible unfond of - a story for another time. 

Nay, squeezing through free from any guilt and hesitation whatsoever, was Haruka who had shoved his wallet in the way during the memorable day Naruto made the wise decision to get a new wardrobe. Consequently, he now had an entire section full of new training outfits whose tops were aligned neatly in descending darker shades of orange. 

The Uchiha offered up his reason like a lifeline when Naruto scowled threateningly, though strangely nonviolent during the ending stages of unnecessary intervention. “It’s October,” Haruka defended stiffly, grabbing the handwoven eco-friendly bag before exiting the clothing store. 

“October,” Naruto scoffed mockingly as the door chimes rang. “What is this, goddamned Halloween?”

“You like orange,” Haruka eyed him mischievously. _ You can’t fool me, _hid at the edge of his tiny smile.

Kakashi did not know what Halloween was, and simply let it go forgotten like the memory of his purely accidental encounter of the Hokage hiding his porn stash in a rare moment of carelessness. Some things simply weren’t meant to be questioned. ‘Halloween’, a word he’d never heard before, had just became one of them. 

Naruto was halfway through hand washing his newly purchased clothes off of its loose dye when the missing piece of their trio visited. “What do you shits take my place for? A fucking teahouse?!” Burst the blond exasperatedly, hands still bubbling from unwashed soap as he stood in the middle of the corridor. 

Fuyuko casually placed a purple rimmed storage scroll on the coffee table and habitually headed towards the kitchen to prepare herself some tea, the custom made teacup she’d paid - too much, in Kakashi’s humble opinion - from her personal savings clicking crisply on the counter top. 

The discovery was unexpected, but not unpleasant. Bordering funny, actually, because who would’ve guessed that the girl who wore nothing but white all the time had the expensive hobby of collecting traditional Fire Country clothing and bolts of fabric? Admittedly, Naruto looked good in the stunning pieces Fuyuko had gifted him. Kakashi doubted he noticed the Hyūga and Uchiha crests sewn at the right and left bottom edge respectively, though.

The pleasant fragrance of fried sweetfish filled the air once they’d settled down for a late lunch. 

“We should be together on your birthday, Naruto. It’s in seven days,” Fuyuko suggested, spreading her chopsticks at the tip so as to pinch some ginger, serving it on Naruto’s plate. 

The answer she received was an impressively resolute no. Haruka perked up, dark hair flopping to one side. “Why not?” He asked, only for realisation to dawn upon him as he gasped, half sarcastic, in contrast to an expression left remotely unchanging, “Oh, is it because of _ that _?” 

Using a plucked metaphorical branch, Kakashi beat down the urge to Body Flicker to the popcorn vendor two streets away.

Goodness, unseen surveillance duty tested nerves more than anyone could imagine. He was becoming like those retired Chunin obaa-sans that gossiped over the fence over who’s ass amongst the ranks looked the nicest. Or who’d recently been caught forging a divorce certificate in their bathroom because having a sister-in-law belonging to T&I seemingly scared the ever living sense out of some poor sod. 

“It is _ that_,” Fuyuko teased, a touch of amusement showing, and Kakashi had barely caught the sound of snorted bubbles in her tea before she answered. But Naruto clearly did, “Fucking choke on it, bitch.” he said, annoyance twisting his soft features. 

“I’ll bring Neji,” Fuyuko breezily determined. “That brat needs some time away from the compound, anyway. He actually put sand in Hinata-sama’s tea thinking it would dissolve. Wear what I got you, Naruto. We’ve never had the chance to celebrate your birthday before. I finally got permission this year.”

“As have I. Fugaku-sama wasn’t pleased, but Itachi-sama and Makoto-sama have been supportive. Your curry recipe has been a pleasure. They send their regards.” 

“Suit yourself. I’m not in on the tenth,” Naruto said tightly. He then rubbed his face, tugged his blond spikes, and spitefully refused to face in the direction of the two. Kakashi’s breath hitched, for he knew as well as any person on the street why. 

(Again and again would Konoha disappoint her children.)

Annually, a festival was held in honour of kind Minato-sensei, yet its contents were ironically cruel. The civilians thirsted for blood and craved vengeance like a druggy damned by the first needle. Antagonizing anger, searing sorrow, vengeful viciousness. These emotions ran so high during the festival that not even fellow Shinobi wished to provoke if they could help it.

Unfortunately, ever since he could run, Naruto had been forced to suffer the brunt of it. And whoever and whatever was around him never remained unscathed. ANBU personnel dreaded this day wherein they had to keep the boy safe while fending off an angry mob without spilling too much blood. It was a conversation built on bricks of pity within the ANBU headquarters, “The orphanage’s a lost case,” Genma said grimly, for it were neither brave nor strong enough to shelter Naruto after the first few break ins. 

Faultless children were terrified out of their wits; Kakashi cared little about the matrons, of course, yet as far as Naruto was concerned, he saw everyone on equal ground. 

Leaving the building by himself had given everyone - and especially Kakashi - a ridiculous fright. 

Keeping Naruto inside the Hokage tower had been an option, one tested and failed. The Hokage was furious after the continuous assasination attempts on Naruto’s life. Inside his building no less. There were explicit orders to protect him, but generally, those below Jounin who haven't learned to reel in their personal emotions during every mission heeled helplessly to the impulsive voice inside their heads that told them to slaughter the demon fox contaminating their home.

As a rule, battles in doors were messy, dangerous, and wasteful. The Hokage then offered Naruto alternatives. Like hitching by the Sarutobi compound for a while. Maybe the Inuzuka? Or the Hatake Clan Compound’s basement? The massive fog of dust ought to do some good as additional cover.

The intensity of Naruto’s anger contained just as much heat as Hiruzen’s, Kakashi distinctly remembered, yet his pup’s dandelion head remained clearer than day about what he wanted. 

“No need,” he said confidently. “Fuckers nowadays can’t discriminate for shit. I can defend myself fine.” In the background, the sound of protest grew louder and louder. Someone had started a towering bonfire, demanding for a very specific sacrifice to soothe the souls of those wrongfully departed. Calmly, Naruto continued, “And I know where to hide if things get bad. Save your breath, old man.” 

Training Ground 44 was where Kakashi and his team found themselves half an hour later. 

_ Training Ground 44, the Forest of Death. _

You. Know. Where. To. Hide - Pakun’s furry behind!

Anyway, Haruka and Fuyuko had no knowledge concerning these events. 

True to the Hokage’s order, the S-ranked secret was not passed behind paper doors among those within their respective Clans. The children who weren’t born long enough to remember would remain in the dark until time wore down its rough shields. 

Yet it didn’t change the fact that as children brought up to hide and seek enemy secrets, not to mention their own Village’s greatest open one. Personally, Kakashi found it hard to believe if the lot were completely unsuspecting of Naruto’s identity. Actions were often more telling than words, and the hatred directed against his pup was nowhere near subtle.

Kakashi wasn’t wrong. Haruka’s and Fuyuko’s faces crumpled in slightly as their inside joke was swept aside. Filled with disdain for the ignorant, they shifted to surround Naruto with their warmth. “Do you want to be Hokage, Naruto?” Haruka asked. 

“I need to be number one.” 

“You wish for power?” Fuyuko dropped her gaze.

Naruto laughed dryly; “I wish for many things,” he admitted, and Kakashi had the feeling he was missing out on something from the way his own chest tightened familiarly. And if his knuckles stung from scraping against the rough bark of a Hashirama tree, if the world dimmed ever so slightly, Kakashi did not notice.

_ (I… once wished for the clock to turn back its too-sharp hands. Praying to the Shinigami every time I killed an offering, during missions where the ground must be spilled with red. I wished for the life of my sensei, my father, my pack. Naruto, do you - ?) _

“We’ll make it come true; one of them, if not all,” Haruka softly promised. “The first step will be to blow out the candles on your birthday cake.”

“Do your fucking worst.” Naruto smirked, and there was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has come to my attention that writing fanfic is my way of stress relief, and thus, pointless to put on Hiatus considering the schedule for every other of my WIPs is already pretty erratic. This one's no different? Is what I'm trying to say. Huhu.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. The theme was fluff and clothes, believe it or not. Because I'm currently in the middle of a pretty busy semester and this chapter meant to soothe my soul. Also, I wanted to enjoy some more time writing about the Emotional Support Idiots while their spotlight lasts. More canon characters should be coming out from the next chapter onward. That's the plan, at least. 
> 
> On a side note, Bakuto is currently 6 years old. Fuyuko and Haruka are 10, making them 4 years older. Reasoning: Bakuto had attended at 2, and the normal attendance age is 6. Soon, 2 of the 3 will be graduating. Isn't that exciting? 
> 
> More on the side: The timeline in Naruto is already pretty wonky, but I'd read up that the Uchiha Massacre takes place when Sasuke is around 7/8 years old? Well, in this work, it's going to be 8. Meanwhile, Itachi will be 14 years old the year he commits the massacre. I'm just going to pretend his birthday hadn't passed yet, making him technically 13. 
> 
> As always, leave a Kudos and comment on your way out if you liked this!


	11. In which he’s finally getting a reunion

The tenth of October could not come any faster, overtaking even Minato-sensei’s adaptation of the Nidaime’s Flying Thunder God Technique. Obligatory complaints travelled through the rectangular cuboid of the locker room at the ANBU Headquarters, bickering kept light and humorous. 

“That time of the year again, huh?” joked Raidō dryly while slipping on his vest. Genma held up a glinting senbon and eyed it thoughtfully. “I’ve upgraded my formula this time. Better ingredients for 25 less Ryo,” he said, grinning like he’d won the lottery.

Iwashi snickered mischievously behind his Oushi mask, “At what cost?” He asked, and Kakashi could easily imagine the face behind the mask. Bright, perhaps lit with well-hidden concern. Anko didn’t do well with boundaries at times, and Genma’s competitive streak had a tendency to kick in for the strangest of things. 

Genma smiled like he knew exactly what Iwashi was thinking. “I had to let Anko grope me.” 

“Seriously? Back or front?”

“Seriously. And on the back _ and _front. It wasn’t so bad actually. Worth every single stalk.” 

Kakashi thought so too. He’d honestly let Anko grope him anywhere if it meant easing his expenses on over the top quality dog food and beds. ANBU missions generally paid more than the average Shinobi, but as Kakashi had recently been reassigned to bodyguard duty all this while, his paycheck eventually measured just above the standard Genin’s. 

He wasn’t confident if his savings would last at this rate. Pakkun ate more than his small body indicated. Focusing on wearing his own uniform, a wave of good-natured laughter rippled throughout the changing room. 

“Sure,” Raidō snorted, clearly disagreeing. Soon checking over their youngest, Itachi, habitually. “Are we good to go, captain?” He asked, and Kakashi almost wheezed. 

Curse his terrible sense of humour. 

“Positively. We’ve gone - you still have nail polish stuck in your hair, Itachi-kun - through debriefing already, but I’ll repeat myself again. We protect our targets the best we can and remaining unseen would be preferable, though the Hokage has given permission to reveal ourselves if the situation requires. Witnessed civilian death is forbidden, though severe crippling proves to be within the margin of acceptability…”

“Senpai, your bias is showing,” Tenzou interrupted. Not unheard of if rather rare altogether. Kakashi cantered him a look of rebuke that Tenzou avoided skillfully by turning his back on him. His cute Kouhai had a point, nevertheless, but Kakashi refused to see it through the irritating tint of red that flitted past his vision.

“Any questions?”

“NO SIR!” Their do-or-die tone pinched out a fond smile hidden behind Kakashi’s Inu mask, and as warmth flooded his chest, the crackle of the start of a bonfire drummed the beginning of a terribly long and trying night. 

Kakashi clicked his teeth shut, straightened his pouch and Kanto, and whistled sharply for a clean take off. He’d been born in one war and fought the next, he could do this without faltering to the anxiety that made his heart sit too large in his body. Kakashi comforted himself in the repetition of gritting murmurs as the heat of the festival lights drew his team in like moths to flame. 

Flame that shouldn’t feel this hot. Not when he was forged in worse conditions. 

The mission would last for an entire night._ What could possibly go wrong? _Based on past experiences, more than his imagination allowed certainly. 

One of the many things that kept Kakashi up at night was Naruto’s utter refusal to Transform himself into another face in the crowd despite knowing how to. The Academy had already taught him, and even if they hadn’t, the pup would’ve picked it up somewhere so Kakashi had full confidence in Naruto’s ability to free himself of this yearly torture. 

Himself _ and _ plenty other ANBU who dared not breathe too loud in the vicinity of Kakashi. Itachi had froze up the first time Kakashi growled reproachfully at him. The young Uchiha genius wasn’t very good at reacting to fucking up (though not on his part this time round) because he simply wasn’t used to fucking up in the first place and it _ showed. _

But Naruto stubbornly held on to his face as though if he changed it once, it’d never return. Countless of notes have been left on his windowsill, at the entrance of his door, his bed, and the edge of the bathtub. _ Transformation Technique, _they all said, the thick press of ink growing increasingly desperate. Kakashi threw all nuance of subtlety into Konoha’s humidity - let it evaporate into the sun. 

Naruto was an established prodigy who acted older than people twice his age, so he hadn’t expected the advice’s deflection in the form of a raging flood. Flushed through channels of pure stubbornness and becoming the great deep divide of sea that separated the Country of Earth and Lightning. 

Kakashi’s concern became the wet dog he never knew he needed to adopt no matter the cost; because the poor creature was unfortunately on the receiving end of unwarranted abuse. 

The itch of Obito’s eye strengthened the closer they arrived at the height of activity and Kakashi’s heart mirrored the thunder of beating Taiko drums. His senses grew slightly fuzzy, vibrations making his stomach feel funny. 

Their team had found the Hyuga and Uchiha children first. Dressed prettily in a formal kimono and yukata respectively. Haruka wore his clan symbol and colours well, while Fuyuko favoured herself the colours of moonlight and lavender. They were both beautiful children, dark eyes and darker hair, each a model representation of their clans’ traditional beauty that would never fall from fashion. 

Naruto had yet to appear at the designated meeting place. Similarly, Hyuga Neji was not present either. Kakashi had heard through the ever growing grapevine that illness claimed his week, the Hyuga heiress tending by his side as his coughs ceased to improve.

The children spoke amongst themselves, body language reserved as their gaze wandered for someone not yet there. 

Kakashi nodded when Itachi signed for suspicious activity down north, his winged summons delivering the news. As captain, he gave his ascent and signed: Come back in 20, call if you need help. 

When Naruto finally showed up, Fuyuko drew a rare smile at his choice of wear. He did put on the Yukata as asked after all. Navy blue and decorated with careful stitching of curling clouds, the sash was striped in black and grey. Nothing about the yukata was anything special, but Kakashi knew from seeing it dry that if it was turned inside out, the clouds transformed into the wispy tails of spiritedly frollicking foxes. 

Fuyuko _ knew, _ and more than likely, Haruka did too. Kakashi had released a shuddering breath at the implication when he found out.

“Alright, dipshits,” Naruto pompously started with a muffled voice that diminished in effect as half the sting relied on Naruto’s condescending scowl that made one feel like utter garbage. “The fuck you wanna do now?”

He adjusted the mask, exposing only his mouth. Painted in simple and confident strokes of black to form an abstract rabbit, the same mask Kakashi had given for his troubles several nights ago. It was the only thing he hadn’t immediately thrown away. 

As a matter of fact, something akin to fondful disgust had twisted his lips and scrunched his nose. It was on a rare evening whereupon Kakashi refused to bend like the stubborn Hashirama trees surrounding Konoha. 

“All this shit isn’t _ my _ fault,” Naruto spat bitterly when he sensed his presence. “Why do I have to hide like some fucking _ coward? _” The mask recoiled from the mattress it was thrown onto, bouncing off the floor and rattling noisily before coming to a stop. Alongside the drop, Kakashi’s resolve followed and he felt himself wavering. 

He kept to the firm belief that it was for the pup’s own good, though. Kakashi did not humour an answer the same way Naruto did not demand for one. The question would be rhetorical whether he liked it or not because they both knew exactly why.

Alas, even three consecutive matches with his proclaimed eternal rival was preferred in comparison being the one to put the bitter and helpless scowl on his Minato-sensei’s son’s face. Yet here they were, several days later. Naruto hadn’t dismissed Kakashi’s insistence. 

Naruto would wear his mask and so would Kakashi. 

_ (I will protect you.) _

Both dragged his pup by the wrist, “Come,” Fuyuko tugged, “We are not allowed candied apples back home so I wish to try one.”

“The mask is well painted,” praised Haruka, “Shall we get one for ourselves?”

Finding something to Naruto’s taste was difficult when the boy disliked sweet foods in favour of spice that could burn off a layer of one’s tongue. He was an openly-closeted health nut, dare Kakashi claim. Never seen eating anything instant for more than once a week. Snacks like Akimichi chips or Amaterasu forbid, ice-cream, Naruto was having none of it. 

Even Haruka’s patience was growing thin when the little majesty vetooed yet another stall. In front of the stall owner, no less, because the Kyuubi had chewed on every last bone of emotional intelligence in Naruto. 

“Do you _ want _your blood to turn into fucking sugar? It’ll make you stupider than you already are!” he said, and Fuyuko stuffed piping hot Takoyaki into his foul mouth until his face resembled a chipmunk’s.

Naruto detested wasting food even more, though, and kept the Takoyaki in his mouth like a champ. Once again the mask rendered his glare ineffective, but Kakashi felt the heat from several buildings away. It was exactly during this moment Naruto accidentally bumped shoulders with someone. 

Round eyes, freckles for days, and thick eyebrows. _ Thick eyebrows? _Kakashi internally sputtered when he assumed he’d missed the invitation to Gai’s wedding. Konoha’s Great Green Beast had a child? How on Earth had he not known about the news? 

“A-ah. Sorry,” the boy that looked only slightly older than Naruto stammered, shoulders lifting and neck tensing downwards as if he was used to talking to people shorter than him. One hand rubbing the back of his head.

“Watch where you’re going, Deku,” Naruto seemed to instinctively spit. But then he rolled back like the words had forced the air out of his lungs, the blatantly hurt shock that crossed his body language reminded Kakashi of a wounded beast. Bleeding and cornered, the sorry attempt to cover up what vulnerable parts it could. Naruto ran, and Haruka and Fuyuko chased after him. 

Kakashi chased after the trio, Gai’s maybe-secret-spawn’s groans growing fainter the farther he got. He didn’t see the boy fell on his knees to the ground, cradling his head like the world was screaming at him. 

And even if Mother-Earth was, Kakashi wasn’t in any state to ask why specifically.

Who - or what, was a Deku? Some late blooming verbal tic that all Uzumaki had? 

He found them back at Naruto’s hovel, the unmasked blond bent over and heaving like he’d run twice the usual marathon. “F-Fuck!” He swore, bunching the Yukata collar near his heart. “Fuck,” he said again. “That wasn’t supposed t-to...”

“Follow my breaths.” Kakashi Shunshin-ed towards Naruto. The Uchiha and Hyuuga received the message and backed away. Haruka went off towards the bathroom, the sound of the bath filling following soon after. Fuyuko clicked the stove on and set the kettle on it. She took out the tea leaves on the shelf and waited. 

His breaths were barely steady when Naruto grabbed Kakashi by his ANBU vest. “I… Take me back to that guy. I need to see him again.”

“You’re in no state to do that, Naruto-kun.”

“Stop being such a hardass and just take me there! Is that so hard to fucking understand?!”

“Do you hear yourself? See yourself? You’d scare away the civilian boy even if i did in this state.”

Naruto’s expression faltered. He reeked of grief and hope and anger. 

“Who is he? Who do you _ think _ he is?” Because Kakashi had been with Naruto for his entire life and not once had he seen Naruto interact with Gai’s maybe-spawn. 

The sound of running water stopped. The subtle echo of pouring water into the teapot replaced it instead. Overpowering both, fireworks whistled and crackled and boomed throughout the night skies. Their multicoloured lights pierced through the windows and lit the living room in white-cored yellows. 

Crackle, boom! And orange. Crackle, boom! And green. 

(The colours of - )

_ (Their colours - ) _

“Nevermind,” Naruto’s voice cracked as he said. And his trembling hands made a poorly convincing argument, “Keep him away from me for now on. I don’t wanna see his ugly mug anyway. It pisses me off.” 

_ Why didn’t you want to see him? _ Haruka asked in the darkness of Naruto’s room - another reluctantly approved sleepover. He was sharing a futon with Naruto when Fuyuko shamelessly rolled over into Naruto’s space, hair in a loose braid. _ Is he a friend? I’ve never seen him at the Academy. _

Shoving her away, Naruto claimed nonchalance with a tone of finality: “It’s nothing. Some things are better left unknown, so stop asking! And I gave you an _ entire _futon for yourself, Ghosty. Fucking use it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, everyone! Gosh, 2019 sure went by quick! Wishing everyone a pleasant 2020 where the year may not be so blissful that it'll feel like something's gonna drop at any moment, but a kind of simple happiness that will make everyday worth living for.  
(edit |Apr 2020|: Wow, 2020, not cool man. Not cool.)
> 
> Anyway, this took super long because my brain is useless and I tend to procrastinate a lot. I had multiple ideas at the same time, you see, and I didn't know which one to write in. Here you have now though; the chapter is easiest to... use? 
> 
> Time skip next, anyway. But don't count me on it. Don't trust my words for these sorta things. I'm update garbage. 
> 
> As always, typos will be fixed later. And leave a Kudos and comment if you liked this!  



	12. In which he’s a dream team coping machine

Kakashi knew better than most folks in Konoha about how tragedy was simply a continuous throwdown of unfortunate events. Big or small, did it matter? The butterfly effect could either bring fortune blessed by the Shichi-fuku-jin or a curse bespelled by the Binbougami. 

Kakashi had been on both ends before. And he’d never regret meeting his team; when he’d lost them? Forever and ever. Until the Pure Lands mangled itself into something unrecognizable and tainted. 

A careless decision here and there, bearing fruit from someone who cared more than they ought to - the beauty of free will in a human being. _ I want, I will, I have. _

I want my teammates to live. I will not abandon them. I have gone against orders. 

Observing how the Clan had long started diminishing since before his father’s time, tragedy was passed down like blood inside a Hatake and then ran its showy course outside the Clan like it had something to prove. 

But what was there to prove, supposedly? How strong a Hatake could be? How long before he or she would break like the blades they wielded? Kakashi was full of blame and anger when he needed some unfortunate thing to blame his first tragedy on. _ First tragedy, _ Kakashi could scoff more derisively than Orochimaru-sama when Jiraiya-sama said something ridiculous. What was this, on the same level of first chore? 

Thankfully, with sunshine smiles and understanding guidance, Minato-sensei had crashed into his humble abode - because Kakashi didn’t believe he needed a palace if it was just him in it - like a charming samurai from the sappy romance his father secretly liked to read. He scooped Kakashi up by the knees and being the ignorant and unruly wolf child he was, tried to metaphorically stab the man’s thigh at the very sign of having his feet lifted off the ground. 

To give himself some credit, it was disorientating, confusing, and so terribly shameful that Kakashi was all shades of unready to leave the den his dead father and he shared. 

Yet if he’d never been forced to leave, Kakashi would have probably starved inside the enclosed cave of rot and rust, obviously because he wasn’t very good at cooking or household finance management yet; he would have become some whimpering thing that howled at the moon every night, disconsolate in the village of leaves: _ Why won’t he wake up? _ Until the whole goddamn forest knew. 

(Your stupid friends weren’t pack.) 

(Please don’t leave me.) 

Point being, Kakashi should essentially - and put a lot of emphasis on the word _ should _\- be a connoisseur of grief counselling because what better advice could a person get in handling grief than from a person who’d walked the walk? If tragedy had a ranking system, Kakashi would’ve been a Jonin by age 6, maybe earlier, no need for the inconvenient formalities of signing up as an academy student, then clambering for a promotion into Genin, then Chunin etcetera, what utter nonsense. 

Hah, even better, the Hokage of the Village of Blood and Tears. His large umbrella hat stamped with the badge of conviction read as _ regret _ instead of fire _ . _ The spirit of _ fuck I shouldn’t have done that _ shall live inside him and all his troublesome subjects who’d argue over trivial things like ‘are you absolutely sure?’ and ‘yes, no. Wait, maybe not, to the yes and the no.’

Kakashi sure as hell knew what he was doing when he stood next to Naruto during the wake in honour of the massacred Uchihas.

Kakashi sure as hell did _ not _know what he was doing.

He was totally out of depth here. How had it come to this? Definitely the name of one of the many clans that lived in his Village of Blood and Tears and - Kami, Kakashi could not _ stand _the crying, the wretched sobbing. The scent of sadness and tears that clung to everyone like perfume. 

Granted, it wasn’t Naruto who was crying, but the meaning stood. He’d be even more thrown off if Naruto actually shed a tear. He could already see himself summoning his entire pack by pure panic by just suspecting that the redness at the corner of the boy’s eyes were related to… bad sad things. Nevermind everyone around them would blow a mental fuse - and subsequently murdering Kakashi twice over - at the disrespect. The pack wasn’t technically therapy dogs after all.

He felt his insides twist like a wet towel needed to be wrung and dried. Kakashi thinks he’s more upset by the fact he wasn’t upset at the tragedy. It was the trauma, honestly, the desensitization, and no, the excuse wasn’t getting old at all. He had every right to pull out the trauma card whenever and wherever he wanted, alright? He may avoid the bookstore’s section of self-help books on mental help at every turn, but no one has said anything about it.

Kakashi was feeling slightly overwhelmed though, sense-wise. Within the large assembly gathered right outside the Uchiha compound and not inside the living horror scene, scents were a thick paste of taste behind his throat, and almost every sound in his surroundings was amplified by a good margin. 

Inhaling deeply, he clenched and unclenched his fist to stop himself from pulling down his forehead protector so that it covered both his eyes.

Touch was… probably unwise at the moment. Especially when Kakashi was affected enough he bothered to humour the passing morbid thought that if it weren’t for himself willingly pressing an awkward elbow against Naruto’s side, he’d happily skin himself at another’s warmth. Fuck, even the fabric of his clothes scraped wrongly. 

Okay. Kakashi was really, really - boy, was he looking forward to retirement in his village - bad with funerals. 

He said it! He did! He hated them with a burning passion. The grief counselling thing could batter itself in the deep fryer for the time being, Kakashi had to survive this ceremony that made him want to shove Naruto’s small body underneath his armpit and leave first.

Things were doing so badly it was hardly funny, Kakashi's over-sensitive nose thought it could pick up the vague copper tang of dried blood despite the incense sticks meant for funerals. The beautiful arrangements of white chrysanthemums were morbidly stark against the actual coffin of urns, above it the fluttering flag of the Uchiha’s fan symbol. It was a good day for rain, a pity it wasn’t. The weather didn’t match the mood and it almost seemed like a mockery of the event’s tragedy. 

There were suspiciously little details on the state of the bodies. Kakashi had prodded the Hokage a bit if only to offer Naruto some sort of twisted closure - he was a professional in these sorts of things, he swore - but the man had subtly threatened Kakashi’s position if he continued. 

At the corner of his eye, Kakashi gave Naruto’s uncharacteristically frozen figure a concerned glance. Naruto never liked not doing things; he was always intent on having at least something at hand. Like training or reading or practicing patrolling the area like an adorable ungraduated guardian.

It was disconcerting as most things were with Naruto. The pup’s expression was smoothened into a professional looking blankness. A third party whose sole job was to take witness of another chapter to the history books. He didn’t even smell that devastated or wrathful, honestly, and Kakashi wondered if it was because although so many Uchihas had died, his own was barely alive by sheer coincidence of coming home late with Naruto that night. 

Kakashi wasn’t the one on duty then. From what he heard, Itachi had just finished traumatising his brother and realised his mistake on the way out. Naruto barely fought him off, his loud Bakuton jerking awake the entire neighbourhood and its light-sleeping Shinobi, drawing them to the commotion. 

It wasn’t Naruto’s fault he wasn’t prepared to face the Uchiha’s famous Kekkei Genkai. He barely managed to defend his friend and landed them both in critical condition. Due to the fox, possibly, Naruto’s monstrous recovery helped him get on his feet in time for the wake. Haruka was in a coma; possibly, Naruto was here in his stead. 

Oh, and about Itachi. As his former captain, Itachi was another can of worms Kakashi did not look forward to opening. Like, ever. 

The wake ceremony was open for three days between 6 to 9 in the evening. As a close family friend by morbid technicality of the last three remaining Uchiha, Naruto had implied he would be attending both the wake and the funeral. Kakashi stood by his side the whole two hours Naruto stood there, internally reciting the three chapters he managed to memorise in a book about childcare books on dealing with loss, grief and trauma. 

The purchase was a rush, and though Kakashi agreed on some of some of the points, he was unsure how to approach Naruto on the subject in the first place. Plus, he didn’t have the upper hand here, considering he’ll never not blame himself on his teammates death. Talking about it was off the table too and yeah, would this be worth the trouble if their future lifestyle as Shinobi was only bound to traumatise them again?

Sounded illogical to him. The books were also written by civilians, so - 

Naruto’s keys jingled as he unlocked the door to his apartment, the mechanism clicking softly as the boy practically stomped towards the kitchen, certainly livelier than the past few days. He threw his shoes at the doorstep like they offended him and the standard sandals bounced an inch above the floor. Kakashi watched, perplexed, as Naruto slammed open the cupboards and yanked a bag of flour and sugar out. He opened the fridge to take out milk next. Then butter and cream cheese(?) and eggs and all sorts of ingredients. 

Colour him amazed. Naruto was a stress baker! Wait, Naruto was a stress baker? Kakashi has not seen Naruto bake in his life, again!

“Shove the hiding bullshit and get out of here, fucking stalker,” Naruto growled, mixing the batter hilariously evenly. It was gentle in comparison to the bombardment of rude explicatives he soon threw at Kakashi because Kakashi elected to remain one with the wall for safety reasons.

He eventually showed himself once the biscuit base was done, the square pan was finally settled in the fridge to harden or something. “I didn’t know you baked,” Kakashi said, because he was a spectacular conversation starter. 

“You don’t know shit about me, jackass,” replied Naruto flatly. Kakashi’s abs probably had more intonation than Naruto’s response. Notedly, the boy wasn’t exactly sarcastic - it simply wasn’t his thing. The silver-haired Shinobi crossed his arms and cocked an intrigued brow, “Is that so.”

Naruto huffed and ignored him, washing his hands before heading to his bedroom. He came out soon, changed from clothes that smelled like incense smoke into a comfortable orange hoodie.

He sat crossed legged on the round carpet in the living room, shuriken and kunai spread out over the coffee table. He started polishing them, sharpening them for tomorrow’s training most likely. Kakashi tentatively sat on the couch behind him, legs landing on the table. He was testing the waters because Kakashi’s thighs were near Naruto’s face and he wouldn’t put it above Naruto to tear out a mouthful of flesh with his teeth remorselessly.

The kid could become an unpredictable rabid animal sometimes. Kakashi opened his mouth and his voice was clear despite the Inu mask. “It’s not your fault,” he said, and cringed immediately after. 

“I fucking know it’s not my fault,” the other returned with a surprising amount of conviction. Kakashi sensed no lie. Naruto indeed knew he wasn’t at fault. Huh.

What next? Oh Kami this was nerve wrecking. He plowed through the block in his throat, “You’re… okay.” It sounded more like a question - good job, Kakashi. Great _ fucking _going.

Naruto spun his head, narrowing his brilliant blue gaze at him, speckles of red dancing in his irises. He glared like Kakashi said something stupid. To be fair, he did, but. 

“The other Uchiha,” Naruto interrupted Kakashi’s thoughts like he knew the man was making excuses in his head. Freaky. “Haruka’s…” He seemed to taste the word, keep the name in his mouth like it’d be safe there. Safer than the state he’s in at the hospital now, anyway. “... Relative. He’s in my class this year, right?”

“Yes. Uchiha Sasuke. Brother to Uchiha Itachi.” 

“He intended to kill everyone except his brother?”

_ Oh. _ Ohhh. Oh _ no. _ Kakashi’s conspiracy board did not need more pins and strings since the fox festival. “What makes you say that?”

“He had plenty of time before we came. That Sasuke, whatever, he’s weak. For what then?”

“I don’t know, Naruto-kun.” Kakashi really didn’t. He’d tested Hiruzen’s patience enough already. Anymore and the good old professor would've downgraded his position as protege’s endearingly traumatised and competent student to… something less pleasant. Kakashi would lose both his window and lateness privileges. To counter this, he was considering sneaking into the archives. Not this night, however. “You could ask him when Uchiha Sasuke starts attending class again.”

Naruto grunted. He was unsatisfied, the adult in the room was very obviously useless, and something was up. Suspicion burning through the solemnity like a tree on fire. Adjusting his body to a more comfortable position, Naruto made a sound between frustrated and tired before going back to sharpening the last kunai in his arsenal. Once he was done, he carefully returned them to his weapons pouch and stood up.

Both got to their feet at the same time. Naruto reached out an arm, not touching Kakashi but indicating that Kakashi stay put. Kakashi’s questioning expression was hidden but his head dropped a bit, gaze darting to the arm blocking his way. His blond charge grinded out reluctantly, “Don’t fucking move. I mean it.”

“I have a job,” Kakashi informed him, “I can’t go anywhere.”

“Sleep here. I’ll get you a blanket and some shit. Wash up in the bathroom, there’s spare towels and toothbrushes under the sink.”

“That’s very nice of you, Naruto-kun, but I-”

The pup rolled his eyes with so much intensity he’d see his brain back there and Kakashi squinted. “Take the cake before you go. That’s in 6 hours. I don’t eat sweet shit.”

Kakashi stared, disbelieving. Was this kid even real? Even his coping mechanisms were healthier and better than Kakashi’s own trial and error of staying in ANBU and reading porn - previously, because now it was childcare manuals - and this was what, the first big tragedy he was consciously involved in? He was so put together Kakashi was embarrassed of himself. He took a step back, the back of his knees hitting the couch. Collapsing on the cushion like he had his breath knocked out of him, Kakashi’s hand wrapped around Naruto’s elbow and squeezed.

“What.” 

“I can pass you my hat, Naruto-kun. You’d make a better Hokage for my village than I’ll ever be.”

Naruto looked at him like Kakashi had lost his mind. It was heart-breakingly judgmental: his lips were pulled back in disdain, brows creased together. Naruto pulled his arm back roughly and the weapons pouch in his clutch swung. “Fuck off,” he said harshly, and then attempted to smack Kakashi in the face with the pouch. 

Dodging, it missed its target. 

Naruto growled, said “Fuck you,” and stormed off to bed. 

For a first goodnight, it wasn't so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's like I can't even see the crack aspect of this fic anymore. It's an actual fic at this point asdfghkhkj. 
> 
> There's actually quite some things I want to cover in this fic, like how Bakuto got here, his personality that's not the growly and angry parts (I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Bakuto's suspicion can be said to be because as an adult hero, he tried to believe in the good in everyone - learned from Midoriya somewhat. So it's weird that Itachi intended to kill all but one), the Uchiha-Hyuga rotation thing he had, a POV that's not Kakashi's, more info on the massacre etc. Uhh, it's easier said than done though. Do excuse my unintentional plotholes haha.
> 
> So I'll try, yeah. Stay safe and strong and kind, everyone. And leave a Kudos and comment if you enjoyed this. They fuel me!


	13. In which he’s not above bribery for dumb ANBU

Kakashi ended up dozing off on Naruto’s surprisingly comfortable plush couch, a good sort of weight settling in his chest. 

Cold was the last thing he felt despite the chilly nights in Konoha. Sometime through the night, Naruto had tossed him a silky smooth blanket when he saw Kakashi shifting on the couch like he wanted to bury himself inside its soft depths. 

The blond had looked like he wanted to say something then, but ultimately refrained and Kakashi was left alone soon enough, hours after dinner when the village outside started to brighten the public lights and the boisterous _ music _of the whorehouses nearby (why was Naruto here again? Cheap rent? Ah, yes, the Hokage) hushed into softer mumbles. 

Head resting on his arms folded behind his neck, Kakashi thought that he wouldn’t mind more nights like these. It was peaceful in its own way - whereupon Kakashi didn’t need to worry about any stray person trying to strangle Naruto in his sleep, occasionally busting the window with a rock.

He was startled awake by the presence of the next ANBU on the shift whose amused head tilt gave her interpretation of the situation away. Kakashi rolled off the tiredness with unashamedly little dignity, he’d been caught in worse moments by the crew. He mocked dragged himself to the fridge, opening it as it puffed with a cushion-y kind of sound. 

The cheesecake looked good, perfectly round and in a tempting shade of pale lemon yellow that promised a contradictory heaven of rich and just-right lightness in taste. Kakashi’s diet was usually less than ideal, but this was a strong contender for the greatest dessert he’d have for the month. He took in a deep breath, taking in the scent of sugar and cheese and _ fire - _ his head swivelled at the sudden, additional presence in the room.

Naruto stood at the open doorway that connected the quaint living room to the small kitchen, leaning against the walls painted in fern green. It used to be plain white, dashes of yellow of unknown substances staining it before the paint-job. Fuyuko’s hobbies included research of everything and anything under the sky that caught her interest, and she’d declared green to be the colour scientifically proven to promote feelings of calmness and contentment. Naruto hadn’t protested much against her mission in making his apartment something less… mandatory and something more _ homely _instead. 

Naruto had looked upon the newly painted walls oddly for the first few hours. During and after the paint job, unbothered by the headache inducing scent or the unprofessional splatters of paint marring the floor where the newspaper wasn’t spread out evenly. 

It was like he stood entranced, his entire body as relaxed as a corpse because his breaths were so short and shallow he may as well have not been breathing at all. And not in the panicked, cause for concern kind of stillness. Naruto’s soul simply wasn’t present among Haruka, Fuyuko, and Kakashi at the moment. He was _ lost, _ somewhere they couldn’t reach, caught looking between wistful and vulnerable and Kakashi found he didn’t like it one bit. 

“I’ll box it for you,” Naruto grunted grouchily, head probably spinning from shooting up too quickly from deep sleep the second he heard the fridge open. He was alert like that, prepared for action to the point Kakashi suspected he had ANBU watchers raiding his pantry every other day. 

Like a pup caught with its snout in the cookie jar, Kakashi startled. 

He was too slow to prevent the chill spiking down his spine at the realisation the boy managed to remain unnoticed by Kakashi for so long, _ and then _sneak up on him until he was much too close for comfort for someone of Kakashi’s calibre. Not even answering Naruto, Kakashi pointed a sharp look towards the direction of his fellow ANBU. 

She wasn’t very helpful - Yugao, he recognised her from her sword strapped on her back, just shrugged. As if to laugh at him for his inattentiveness and to let him know this was normal. Of course it was, what was Kakashi even expecting? Nothing better than to have someone creep close enough behind him to very literally stab him in the back. 

He was her captain. He deserved better than this. Yuago was on locker cleanup duty for a week.

She’d argue it was because this was Naruto they were talking about here, but Kakashi was determined to stick with the righteousness of _ his _half-assed argument that he didn’t want bad habits building. Just to be an asshole. Yugao would grumble with valid reason, and Kakashi would pretend to miss it as he gives her shower room duty for the upcoming week. 

“Eyes down here, assface,” Naruto stated lazily, and wasn’t that something Kakashi jerked awkwardly at. Right. He needed to say something, agree to the cake packaging. _ Manners, Kakashi, _ he reminded himself glumly. _ Abuse of power later, manners now. _

The sickly yellow light of the fridge lit Kakashi’s face in the dark. Kakashi absently closed it, watched how stray streetlight hazed through the tightly squeezed window pane above the sink and landed onto Naruto who busied about with the shelves and cabinets, rummaging for a container large enough to fit an entire cheesecake. 

His Henge was off; Naruto only looked his real age in the comforts of his apartment. Outside, he was older, like a raging Zashiki-warashi that never aged. Even if people theoretically knew his age, they didn’t care enough to question Naruto’s oddities through their hate and indifference. Kami, there was an actual stool for the stove. Naruto was so _ small, _ so _ young. _

But he also baked a cake for Kakashi. Himself. Whatever. The point was _ Naruto baked. _

“I don’t have anything big enough,” Naruto scowled, scent sharpening with annoyance. “The biggest can fit a third. Take this.” He shoved the taller than average wooden box at him, hitting a digestive organ or two. Kakashi did _ not _wheeze. “Give it back to me tomorrow and I’ll give the rest until there’s none left.” 

Was this an invitation? To appear not for the first or last time, an invitation to stretch his body on the couch like a house pet - the irony wasn’t lost on him, Kakashi could imagine the conversations he’d have with Pakkun and the pack. 

The entire squad knew of Naruto’s light sleeping habits. They also knew there actually wasn’t any point hiding themselves when it was just Naruto and them because the pup already knew about their duties and the secretive watching had him all... twitchy - as in hands sparking dangerously without hand signs prior (what the _ actual fuck? _) - than secure, pacified a little by at least the illusion of privacy when the distractions of the outside world weren’t available.

Kakashi tentatively received his package.

The bento box opened in his hands, and Kakashi’s eyebrows raised at the meticulousness of the ungodly fair proportions of the cake. Naruto certainly didn’t do things by halves. He’d cut the dessert into neat cuboids in which Kakashi took one with his fingers and ate after lifting the mask to reveal only his covered mouth. Obviously, he pulled down the second layer, but by then Naruto was returning to bed once again.

“Thanks,” he said - a murmur, really, nowhere loud enough for Naruto to hear - and snapped the box shut. 

Kakashi’s newfound addition to his own fridge didn’t change much in his life overall. His diet remained as healthy as a starving medic-nin intern: Kakashi could hypothetically do better than take out every day but now, he ate cake for breakfast instead of an energy bar that tasted like very hard, stone-worthy dry oats. 

The knowledge Naruto baked instead of wallowing or sweating whatever upsetting memory out settled something in Kakashi. Something unexplainable and unidentifiable, but warm and light in his chest. Not unlike drinking a cup of warm tea on a freezing night. Naruto was doing good; more than actually, and because he was, Kakashi had the feeling _ he _would be fine in turn. 

The realization had him feeling particularly odd for a while even as duties went on as usual where the sole difference in the routine was Kakashi’s increasingly long crash at Naruto’s apartment becoming a regular thing.

Fuyuko took the change in stride - on the days she was even allowed to leave the clan compound and stay with Naruto. The Hyuuga clan, sharing more similarities with the Uchiha than they liked to admit, was keeping suspiciously quiet. 

Kakashi threw his two ryo and suspected he smelled fearful uncertainty wafting off the main house Hyuuga. They were right to be weary of another massacre out of the blue, instigated by a main house member who’d cracked from the pressure. All Hyuuga members were forced to obey some sort of curfew for whatever pompous bullshit the Hyuuga’s announcement scrolls said that he wasn’t privy to. Kakashi declared karma for the old geezers. 

It wasn’t as if playing a caged bird was anything new for the side branches, but now the main house knew a fraction of how it felt to be restricted and forced to something because of dodgy orders for dodgy reasons. Kakashi hoped whoever deserved it in the clan _ squirmed _in their shinobi paranoia. 

Naruto always made Fuyuko’s favourites when she came over, and on the rare occasion the girl did pay attention to Kakashi as a whole, she stared at him with unsettling, calculative eyes.

“Just take off the fucking mask already,” Naruto said after returning back home from his daily hospital visits for the comatose Haruka. Uchiha Sasuke had been there too, but the boy appeared almost catatonic. He hadn’t bothered to acknowledge Naruto’s visitation, just rested his forehead on the side of Haruka’s bed, taking deep inhales and exhales. 

Kakashi wasn’t raised by _ actual _ wolves, so he didn’t judge the dry sobbing _ too _much. 

Sasuke did eat the bento box Naruto brought along though, because cooking was his thing now clearly. The young Uchiha had initially been very stubborn on not taking the food, but Naruto simply needed to scoff nastily, exposing Sasuke’s self-negligent and self-inflicted stupidity with one eyebrow arch alone, and the boy was soon scarfing down the rice as though it’d disappear overnight.

The worry was silly if that were true. Naruto only came by again the next day in the afternoon after training so Sasuke had many hours to eat the prepared lunchbox. Three weeks have passed since the tragedy, and despite Naruto dropping off food like a lottery wheel saint, Kakashi had good evidence to believe Sasuke wasn’t coping very well; the boy’s clothes were getting baggier by the day, the skin beneath his eyes darker. 

The hospital or… _ someone _had to be feeding this kid, right? The kid had to be feeding himself. For y’know, survival purposes, to satisfy the urges all natural beings have - like shitting and sleeping and training (shinobi exclusive, Nara notwithstanding). Sasuke ought to tear a page from Naruto’s book; the pup was a fucking rock in the face of storm much larger than him. 

If the bento boxes were actually Sasuke’s only meal for the day, Kakashi might file a complaint. Heck, Naruto would be the first filing that complaint. Kakashi supposed he could resign himself to stalking close by and breathing down the Hokage’s neck.

But Sasuke wasn’t the star of the evening, Naruto was. When was he not for the past several years of Kakashi’s life? From that faithful day, his world practically revolved around his sensei's son. It was debatable if it was the same the other way round. 

“What,” Kakashi responded dumbly to Naruto’s demand. He blinked slowly - not that Naruto could see - and repeated again: “What." 

“I hate the mask,” Naruto glowered venomously. “And it’s not like I can't pick you out from the crowd. I memorised your scent.”

Kakashi laughed weakly. It sounded foreign to his ears. “You can do that?”

“My eyes fucking slit when I get angry. What do you think?”

_ I think we need to call the Toad Sage back ASAP. _ “You’re right,” Kakashi said out loud, and even nodded to show that yes, he absolutely saw the connection between the two points pointed out. On a side note, Naruto was also _ always _angry, but his eyes were currently blue and it would be terribly rude for his brain to point out his colour blindness after two decades of life. 

“My house, my fucking rules.”

“Rain check.”

“You didn’t need one yesterday, so fuck no. Take it off.” 

Kakashi disliked the way Naruto said his words. He tells his dogs to ‘sit, paw, good boy’ in the same tone. “I don’t like your tone,” Kakashi thus grunted, voice tight and shocking himself slightly. 

Colour him surprised, Kakashi was _ suddenly _an advocate for vocalising his feelings when he was normally the exact opposite. Granted, by fair or foul, the grief counselling books stated it was a healthy practice and that it was a right step forward. Kakashi had expected relief like a sore muscle healed; it sucked that the books hadn’t foreseen Naruto because Kakashi was feeling pretty fucking attacked and defensive.

“Dude.” Naruto threw his hands up. “You don’t get to whine about _your_likes. You’re stalking me under my goddamn roof. Haven’t you people heard of fucking privacy rights?”

“It’s for your protection,” was the automatic reply, because Naruto didn’t deserve to be let down even more so early in life. Shinobi sold their souls - much less rights - the moment they signed the papers swearing them to the academy. Okay, maybe not for everyone, but Naruto was an exception due to his orphan and jinchuuriki status.

“_My_ protection,” Naruto rumbled a sub-vocal growl pulled from deep within his chest and for a split second, Kakashi’s heart stopped, his body almost flinching at the animalistic sound. It sounded so much like - 

“Fine.” He looked upwards, prayed, “Great sage help me.”

The growling subsided. Naruto was finally appeased, and he was soon strutting towards the kitchen to prepare dinner as the wall clock’s shorter hand clicked to six. Kakashi nursed his wounded pride on the illegally comfortable couch. He could carve out a wood replica of Naruto’s following smug smirk blind; the thought did not make him feel better whatsoever. 

Dinner was all of Kakashi’s favourite dishes and honestly for the who-knows how many times, he was beyond questioning how the boy knew these things. The brat probably _ smelled _him in the restaurants he frequently ordered take out from or something. Kakashi gladly ate what was on the table and wondered if he should cry or laugh when Naruto didn’t try to needle him about the face mask or the face underneath the mask. 

It should be noted Naruto did stare a bit at first, a ghost of a smile flitting past his face. “Thank you,” he then said genuinely, with none of the usual scorn or scowl present. Kakashi dropped his damned pastel chopsticks.

(Haruka was going to stab him if he found out. It was the Uchiha’s favorite pair because of the intricate design of sparrows perched on a cherry blossom branch carved at the grip end.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The silver hair, the mask. Bakuto was reminded of Shoji Mezo in case you gaiz were wondering :(( And because this is a UA graduated Bakugou from the bnha world reincarnating over, I’d like to think everyone in 1A were as close as family. (Mineta doesn’t count because _Alternate Universe - Mineta Minoru doesn’t exist._)
> 
> Anyway, I got tired of angst so here’s some big bro-small bro fluff. Well, my idea of fluff because I honestly don’t even know man. I’m terrible at this, but I hope you enjoyed it either way. Don't forget to leave a kudos and comment if you did! 
> 
> I’m so so grateful for the support of everyone. Like I know it’s been >2 months but I’ll do my best to reply to all your comments! Every comment makes my entire week like god, half the reason I take forever to reply is because I hoard them in my inbox like the procrastinator 159cm lizard I am.
> 
> (Stay safe and strong, everyone.)


End file.
